The tragic-comic scene being ended, continued Sable, this worthy member of Comus’s court, repaired to the rendezvous of the Choice Spirits, where he was heartily received, and recounting to them his day’s exploit, set them in a roar of laughter, at the expence of Mr. Feastlove, who little dreamt, I believe, of taking a dose of physic on the feast-day of the society, though ’tis probable this Choice Spirit conferred a benefit on him instead of a punishment; in the morning this frolicksome spark conducted me to my old lodgings.
I began now, continued Sable, to wish for a little respite, the pleasing novelty of my situation in Monmouth-street, gradually subsiding as the succession of my adventures encreased; and my curiosity abating, in proportion as my excursions became less pleasing. The desire I had of a little relaxation from business was gratified, the expedition I had with the choice spirit, being the last time I was called to aid the schemes of any of the sons of invention, who might have occasion to appear in disguise, or assist the struggles of the unfortunate in their endeavours to overcome an adverse fate, during my stay in Monmouth-street, where I remained a considerable time without any further employment.
During this recess from business continued Sable, I past much time in contemplating on the various modes of happiness which mankind sought after, and the different means they pursued to attain their adopted wishes; the labours of my fellow adventurers in their diurnal expeditions, which were always communicated to the society together with my own experience, affording me variety of instances. The power of reasoning, and of assimilating their ideas, with which men are indued, to enable them to distinguish the true road to happiness, I found was of little or no service to them in their pursuit, the present gratification of the passions and senses, seems to be the chief consideration and stimulater in all their actions; but when the vigour of youth begins to relax, and the heat of blood to cool, the passions and senses necessarily decay, and they then perceive their error, and lament that they did not in their youth, furnish the storehouse of wisdom, with useful knowledge, to enable them to pass with satisfaction and tranquillity, through age and infirmity, and for want of which they become fretful and peevish, disagreeable to themselves, and to every one else.
The youthful auditor here thanked the sage adviser, for the lesson he so gently insinuated, and assured him that he would endeavour to regulate his conduct agreeably to the dictates of reason, and that his study should be to acquire a fund of knowledge, so that the faculties of his mind, might afford him pleasure when his passions and senses should deny it. The wise narrator replyed, he hoped the alluring bates of pleasure would not have power to check his resolution, or destroy those blossoms of virtue whose fruit was happiness.
I next, continued Sable, became the property of a very ingenious gentleman, who has entertained the town in a variety of characters, but in none more singular, or more to his emolument, during the time it lasted, than that in which I had the honour to serve him in, and though he has never been remarkable for concealing his follies, yet this is a secret which he has carefully preserved.—To keep you no longer in suspence, I was purchased by this genius, to countenance him in the character of a Fortune-teller, a scheme which his thorough knowledge of the town, together with a great variety of anecdotes of a number of people, which he had treasured up, made him the best qualified to act of any man in London; and he was a very Proteus, in varying his appearance, for he would be in your company two or three times a day, if he had occasion, in the same number of characters, without your being able to discover him.—It was this gentleman, continued Sable, who removed me from Monmouth-street, to a lodging near Charing-cross, this being the place he had chose to deliver his oracles from, a spot which, time out of mind has been remarkable for the residence of all the extraordinary things and phenomena, which have been deemed worthy the attention of this metropolis.
Here White, begged to know why that place was so particularly fixt upon by the industrious providers of strange sights and rarities. Sable declared it was not in his power to resolve him, with certainty in that point, but said, that as these itinerant raree-show gentlemen, dealt in nothing but what is most properly adapted to the meanest capacity, (as some book-sellers inform the world what they publish is) so this neighbourhood may be looked upon, by these gentlemen, as the meridian best calculated for their purpose.
Every thing being settled by this foreteller of events, continued Sable, advertisements were put in the newspapers, and bills dispersed, acquainting the nobility and gentry, that a sage Ægyptian, who was making the tour of Europe, was arrived in London, and that his stay would be only one month, during which time they might be informed of any particular they were desirous of knowing, either past, present, or to come; attendance at —— Charing-cross, every evening, from six to nine, price five shillings each person.
The first who came to search the register of fate, continued Sable, were two ladies, one tall and the other short, the tall lady desired to know, as a specimen of the doctor’s art, (for so he stiled himself) where she was on such a day, a considerable time past; the doctor having been informed of the day of her nativity, and looking over his book told her she was on the day she mentioned, in Newgate; the lady started in great surprise,—and asked how she came to be there,—the doctor told her, she went to see a Highwayman,—the other lady then asked where she was on that day,—the Doctor, after going through the ceremony of calculating her nativity, told her she was also in Newgate, with the other lady on the same occasion.—These answers were thought proof enough of the doctor’s knowledge of things past,—and the tall lady next desired, he would tell her the most remarkable place she had been at that day,—to which the doctor, after making a calculation by some very extraordinary figures with pen and ink, answered she had been to see the tall man,—where she had seen something that greatly surprised her.—Here the lady blushed, and said she was now sure he was the Devil; but the doctor declared he was only a distant relation of the infernal’s.—Well where shall I go to-morrow, says the lady, why, madam, says the doctor, you have resolved to pay a visit to the tall man again to-morrow evening alone, but whether you will really keep to your resolution or not, is more than the arch-fiend himself can tell.—The lady said she must confess there was more truth than manners in his answers, and that she should have expected such an answer to have been whispered when there was a third person in company.—The doctor humbly asked pardon, but said as the lady her companion was privy to her design, and intended to visit the tall man herself another time, he did not apprehend any harm could arise in speaking of it at that time.—Well, Sir, says the lady, since I find you do know more than I imagined, I hope you are a man of honour, and at the same time put a guinea into the doctor’s hand.—The doctor assured the ladies they might rely upon on his secrecy, and waited upon them down a private pair of stairs which led into a street that lay behind the house.
The first trial of my genius’s knowledge of the influence of the stars, continued Sable, succeeded to admiration.—White here desired to know what book it was the doctor extracted his knowledge from.—Sable replied, it was a common place book in which his owner entered down his anecdotes, and which he was every day encreasing, being employed all day in going from place to place where he could best gain intelligence—you will, no doubt, wonder, says Sable, how he could come by the knowledge of the lady’s secret intention, that, adds Sable, he guessed—which indeed from these ladies known character and disposition was no difficult matter to do; for he knew who the ladies were perfectly well, and, I assure you, they were both people of great distinction.
The next remarkable person, continued Sable, who was desirous of consulting the stars, was an officer in the guards, who on his entrance told the doctor he had heard he was acquainted with things above and below stairs.—You understand me—continues he, and so let me have five shillings worth of information.—From which quarter, Sir, says the doctor—which quarter, replies the familiar gentleman,—why faith, adds he, I believe it is from below stairs.—The doctor then desired to know the day of his nativity, and that he would propose his question,—why you must know, says the gay spark, that I have a d—’d inclination to lie with the wife of a particular friend of mine, but I want to know whether it will be attended with any bad consequences.—I mean, continues he, whether I should be obliged to fight in this case or not? for though I would not have you think me a coward, yet I should not chuse to draw my sword upon my friend.—The doctor, after looking over his book, and making a number of hieroglyphicks as usual, told him, that though the husband would know his dishonour, yet he might be assured no bad consequences would ensue to him, for that it would only make his friend unhappy during his life; the son of Mars, continued Sable, was extremely well satisfyed with this answer, and departed, in all probability, to confer upon his friend this new mark of his esteem.