Pray how was that, said the Goldsmith's Lady?
It is a Story worth your hearing, reply'd the Bawd; and if you please I'll give you the Relation of it, as I had it from one of the Gentlemen concern'd therein. You will Oblige me very much; answer'd the Lady. Whereupon the Bawd thus began.
It happened that two Gentlemen belonging to the Army (of which the one was my Particular Acquaintance, and a good Customer to my House) taking Water at the Still-yard, was minded to divert themselves upon the River, by going up to Chelsie-Reach; where they sometimes met with pretty Ladies proper for their Purpose, But as they were going along, they perceived a very fine Gentlewoman in a rich Garb, in a Sculler, all alone; and also observed that she made the Sculler, who was a good likely Young Man, row her sometimes one way, and sometimes another, without going to any certain Place. This gave 'em occasion to Conjecture that she had appointed some Spark or other to meet her thereabouts, whose coming she expected with some Impatience; as they easily perceiv'd:
For that which frets a Woman most,
Is when her Expectation's crost.
After she had near half hour in that manner fluctuated to and fro upon the silver Surges of Thamesis, like one of the Nereides, and found she was disappointed; she bid the Sculler Land her at the Three Cranes, which he accordingly did; and the Gentlemen likewise order'd their Oars to Land 'em at the same Place; and observ'd, after the Lady was Landed, that the Sculler ask'd for his Money, and she bid him follow her; and after he follow'd her into Thames-street, he began to grumble, and told her he cou'd go no further, and therefore he wou'd have his Money; which she wou'd not give him whithout he went wither she was going, telling him she wou'd pay him for his time. This made the Gentlemen dog her, and soon after saw her go into the Three-Cranes Tavern, and the Sculler after her; which the Gentlemen seeing, and (being resolv'd to know the bottom of this intrigue) follow'd them into the same Tavern; and bid the Drawer, if it was possible, let them have the next Room to that which the Gentlewoman had, who came in just before 'em with a Waterman following her: The Drawer told 'em there was Company in the next Room then, but they were paying there Reckoning, and would be gone immediately; and in the mean time desir'd 'em to walk into a Box in the Yard, which they accordingly did; and whilst they sat there, they saw the Waterman go out again. Presently after the Drawer came and told 'em that the Room was now empty, which they forthwith went into, and had the conveniency through a hole in the Wall, to see the Gentlewoman unseen, who sat leaning her Arm upon the Table, in a very melancholy Posture, as one much dissatisfy'd; having a Glass of Wine before her, and Pen, Ink and Paper. Soon after the Waterman comes in again, and tells her the Gentleman had not been at home since Morning, nor did they know where he was. Where's the Note that I gave you, says she? Which he giving her, she took and tore it, and then burn'd it, Then taking the Glass, what's your Name, Waterman, said she? An't please you, Madam, my Name's John: Well, then honest John here's to ye, says she; and drank off her Glass, and made John fill a Brimmer and drink it off. And then John offering to go, she said, No, John, you shan't go yet, I have something to eat, and you shall stay and eat with me: Don't be uneasie John, for I'll pay you well for your time. Presently up comes the Drawer and brings a Lobster and a Piece of Sturgeon, with him; then bidding the Drawer bring a Quart of Canary up, she ask'd John whether he lov'd Lobster and Sturgeon? Yes, very well, Madam, reply'd John, but they are too good for my common Eating. After the other Quart of Canary was brought up, and the Drawer gone down, she bid John come nearer and sit down; and at last having both eat and drank Plentifully, she pull'd John close to her, and told him he look'd like a clever well-made Fellow, and ask'd him, if he did'nt think himself capable of doing a Ladies Business? which put John so much out of Countenance he did'nt know what to say to her: Upon which, first Embracing the Dull Fool in her Arms, Come, says she, let's see how well you're furnish'd: And then putting her Hand into his Breeches, John began to think she was in Earnest, and made as bold with her; giving her what she wanted; and then calling for another Quart of Wine, and having drank and repeated their Amorous Embraces two or three times, she gave John a Guinea; and told him she lik'd him so well, that she would go by Water with him that day Sennight; and charg'd him to meet her then at five a Clock, at Paul's Wharf; and she wou'd then give him such another Treat. Which John promis'd her to do, and so went away very well Satisfied. The two Gentlemen who (unseen of her) had seen and heard all those Passages; were resolv'd to make a further Discovery of the Gentlewoman and so dogg'd her home to her own House, which happen'd to be at a Woollen-Drapers in St. Paul's Church-Yard. Having thus seen her at her own House they left her, and went to their own Lodgings.
The next Morning they went into Paul's Church-Yard to make the Lady a visit, but past many times to & fro before the Door, but cou'd'nt get a sight of her. In the Afternoon they came again, and having waited up and down about an hour, they at last saw her in the Shop, and knew her to be the same Person: Whereupon going into the Shop they ask'd her to see some of the best Scarlet-Cloth, and whilst the other Gentleman was busie in choosing the Cloth, my Friend took an opportunity to tell the Lady what a Passion he had for her, and how ready he wou'd be to serve her with the greatest hazard, and how he hop'd to be made happy with the enjoyment of her last Favours; but she seeming to be mightily affronted at his Discourse, told him, That if he did'nt leave off prating at that rate to her, she would call to her Man to Kick him out of the Shop: Which disdainful Carriage did so much exasperate him, that he replyed with some heat, Why Madam, do you think I cann't do your Business as well as John did, at the Three-Cranes Tavern in Thame-street, last Night? These words made her change as Pale as Death: Sir, said she, As you are a Gentleman, I hope you won't expose me: And I'll oblige you in what'e'er you ask me.—Chuse your Cloth, says she, and I'll come down to you presently. And then going up Stairs she return'd again in two minutes, and put twenty Guineas into his hands, to pay for the Cloth, appointing to meet 'em at the old Tavern an hour after; which she did accordingly, gratifying both the Gentlemen with the same Favours she had bestow'd the Night before upon John the Waterman, whose Nose these Gentlemen had put out of joint.—Judge you now, Madam, what a case this Gentlewoman had been in, had she fallen into other hands. But all such accidents are avoided by those that make use of such a House as mine.
The Bawd having made an End of her Discourse, after a little pause, The Goldsmith's Lady thus began:
I return you many Thanks for the Relation of your Life: Your Advice before has sav'd my Reputation to my Husband and the World; which he who had first Tempted me to Lewdness, and overcame me through the Love of Money, would have afterwards Expos'd; for which I think my self oblig'd to you: But the Relation you have now given me, has Oblig'd me much more; for it has made me quite out of Love with the Trade you have all along follow'd; if for nothing else, because of the Dangers that attend it. For if you look back, and reflect upon your first going astray, it was full of danger and hazard; and how private so ever you thought you were in it, yet it could not escape your Husbands Jealousie and Mistrust; and at last, when you least suspected it, was fully discover'd by your Gallant himself. And that occasion'd your being turn'd out of Doors; and that taking all sense of shame from you, (as you well observed) exposed you to a thousand Temptantions; which being suited to your own Natural Inclinations, you presently closed withal; which in a little time was, it seems, attended by the Pox; and which besides, many times laid you open to the Cognizance of the Civil Magistrate; and made you afraid of every one you saw; which must needs be a very uneasy Life.—I can speak some thing of this by my own experience: For after I had given way to Mr. Bramble's desires, and yeilded to his Unlawful Embraces, I was so full of Guilt, that when ever my Husband call'd hastily to me, or spoke in the least angrily, I thought it was to tell me of my playing the Whore with Mr. Bramble, my guilt still flying in my Face; so that I wou'd not be expos'd to the like Fears again, for double the value of what I receiv'd from him. But having been over come by him, the fear of his exposing of me, as I perceive he intended, had not you helpt me to prevent him, caus'd me to serve him as I did.—But you cannot imagine, (said she) what a Consternation I was put into the other Night, when a Constable that lives hard by us, and is one of the Society for Reformation, came to our House, and told my Husband he came to tell him of some Discoveries he had lately made, which were worth his hearing: My blood came all into my Face, and I did not question but that I was to be the Subject of his Discourse. But when I had heard out his Stories, I was better satisfy'd: Tho' they were such as sufficiently declare the Danger, that such as you are dayly in, of being detected, as those were of whom he gave my Husband a Relation: Which indeed I thought to be diverting enough, as long as it did not concern me. For tho' we care not to be expos'd our selves, we are yet ready to take a kind of pleasure in hearing that others are so.
If it were not too great a trouble (said the Bawd) I should be glad to hear what those Discoveries were, that he made to your Husband; which perhaps may be of use to me in knowing how to prevent the like Disasters.