“Say, Mr. Clerk, there’s a man upstairs in room 78, says there’s bedbugs in his bed!”
“Phwat! Bedbugs in his bed? Go up and ask him if he wants humming bir-ds in his bed fer a dollar a day?”
“Say, Mr. Clerk, there’s a man upstairs in room 97 who says the rain came through the skylight last night and wet him to the skin.”
“Wet him to th’ skin; charge him 25 cents extra fer th’ bath. G’wan out av here!”
Caller—“Your master’s not at home, eh, Pat?”
Pat—“No, sor; he do be in the ould country these t’ree wakes, sor.”
Caller—“Excuse me, Pat, but how is it when your mistress is on this side of the water master’s on the other, and vice versa? Is there trouble between them?”
Pat—“None at all, sor; only they have agrade bechune ’em that they can live together better when they’re apart.”