“Well, in one way. He attends lots of swell gatherings.”


A man lost three hundred dollars in a railway station and returned and told the crowd he would give seventy-five dollars for the return of the money. One man said he’d give a hundred and another man said he’d give two hundred. When I left they had bid it up to a thousand.


“I can tell you how much water runs over Niagara Falls to a quart.”

“How much?”

“Two pints.”


Willie said that his mother had a very cruel cook. He said that he heard her talk about beating the eggs, whipping the cream, stoning the raisins, mashing the potatoes and pounding the steak.