What’s the difference between a Dutchman and an Irishman?
When a Dutchman is dead he’s dead, isn’t he?
When an Irishman is dead you have to watch him for three or four days after.
She (disgustedly)—Drunk again?
He—Hic, so am I.
The fellow in the next room to me last night made an awful lot of noise, his wooden leg pained him.
How could that be?
His wife hit him over the head with it.