Percy—“Was it because your brother took his typewriter out to lunch that all the trouble came about?”
Harold—“Oh, no, it wasn’t that! It was because his wife found it out.”
“How do you tell the age of a turkey?”
“By the teeth.”
“A turkey hasn’t got teeth!”
“No; but I have.”
B’ginger I went into a Turkish bath an’ gin a feller a dollar outen m’wallet and he laid me out onto a slab and derned if he didn’t scrub me with a brick. Wall, I asked him what in thunder he was doin’ and he said: “Scouring the country for money.”