“Well, Tom, what are you working at now?”

“Nutting.”

“Nothing—well, that’s a healthy occupation for a big man.”

“Sure, I work in a nut and bolt factory, putting nuts on bolts, ain’t that nutting?”


I went into a restaurant to-day. The lemon pie that I had was a peach.

That’s nothing, I went into a saloon and had no money, so I let the beer settle.


“I think I’ll celebrate my golden wedding to-morrow.”