A minister was horrified one Sunday to see a boy in the gallery of the church pelting the hearers in the pews below with horse chestnuts. As the good man looked up, the boy cried out: “You tend to your preaching, Mister. I’ll keep ’em awake.”
“Say, what kind of a race was that you and your wife had?”
“Race? Why, we didn’t have any race.”
“Now, that’s funny. The neighbors told me that you beat her.”
We got a cow and she doesn’t give any milk. We take it away from her.
“What is the greatest hydraulic feat of the age?”
“Flushing Long Island.”