“A man said to me to-day, ‘where did you get that face?’ I told him that it belonged to me, and he said he didn’t know but that I’d beat a bull-dog out of it. The idea. You know a man can’t choose his face, nor his hair nor his eyes. He’s lucky if he can pick his teeth.”


“His father is the meanest man I ever knew. He never buys any coal. He lives near a railroad and makes faces at the engineer.”


“I saw your sister on the street to-day.”

“How was she looking?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t see her face.”

“How did you know it was my sister?”

“Oh, I’m quick at figures.”