Messenger boy, with a telegram for Mr. Jenkins, rings the bell at half-past one in the morning: Does Mr. Jenkins live here—
Feminine voice from upstairs, wearily: Yes; bring him in.
Uncle Sam’s worries (Stevenson Americanized):
There’s so much blues in the East of U. S.
And so much booze in the West of U. S.
That it ill behooves any of U. S.
To say what it thinks of the rest of U. S.