“Line up the hairs and number off to the right. Odd numbers each want a half inch off. Dress smartly with bay rum and brilliantine. Then dismiss.”
BASEBALL IN BLIGHTY
An American officer recently expressed his surprise that English people had so quickly appreciated the fascinations of baseball, and particularly how very enthusiastic women were on the game.
“Why, at the Navy and Army match the other week,” he said, “I counted quite twenty ‘fans’ among the women sitting around me.”
“Yes,” said a charming old lady, “and I wished I had taken mine, for the heat was terribly trying.”
UNIVERSAL COMPLAINT
An American soldier was being shown over an old English church where hundreds of people were buried.
“A great many people sleep between these walls,” said the guide, indicating the inscription-covered floor.
“So?” said the doughboy. “Same way over in our country. Why don’t you get a more interesting preacher?”