What relation is a doormat to a door? Step-fa(r)ther.
What is that which you cannot hold ten minutes, although it is as light as a feather? Your breath.
What is the worst weather for rats and mice? When it rains cats and dogs.
What is that which never uses its teeth for eating purposes? A comb.
When are two apples alike? When pared.
What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison? One cannot see to go and the other cannot go to sea.
Why is a plum cake like the ocean? Because it contains so many currants.
What pudding makes the best cricketer? A good batter.
When is a sailor not a sailor? When he's a-board.