Will This Mate Bring You Social Approval? You will want a mate that other people will like, that other people will admire and respect. You thus need a mate who is adept at getting along with other people. Will your friends like him and will the mate’s friends like you? Will your parents think approvingly of the marriage?
Can This Mate Offer You Security? This desire for security is a very fundamental one, especially with girls. It is based upon the bodily need for food, shelter and clothing but is much more complex. Will this mate be kind and considerate and give you a feeling of confidence and stability? Will this mate refrain from gambling, drinking and other things that might imperil the security of your future home and children? In short, will this mate bring you a feeling that you have an anchor that will keep you steady?
Will This Mate Help You Get Ahead? This involves the desire for mastery, which is a universal human motive, particularly with men. It produces the urge to succeed, to excel, to overcome obstacles, to keep on fighting, to master situations. It is this desire for mastery that makes a husband take a correspondence course which may lead to a job promotion. The girl wants a mate who will be ambitious and the man needs a wife who will show initiative, who will read books on how to prepare tasty dishes and how to rear children according to the best principles of child care, and who will not become easily discouraged or frustrated.
Will This Mate Embarrass You by Nonconformity? The man wants a wife who will not act unbecomingly in public, who knows how to say and do the right thing when other people are present, who will conform to the customs that will cause the neighbors to think well of her. The girl wants a man who is not discourteous or sloppy, who will get to work at the time he is supposed to report, who will not embarrass her in public by doing things that will make them criticized by others.
Will This Mate Be Affectionate With You? We all want to be appreciated, to be approved by our own mate, to be given spontaneous tokens of affection, to be told that we are loved. It is tied up with our desire for praise and recognition. The man wants his wife to cherish him, to build him up, to show him in many little ways that she loves him, that she is close to him, and that she needs him. And the wife, perhaps to an even greater degree, needs to feel she is important to her husband, that he loves her and shows that love in many little ways.