On what day of the year do women talk the least? The shortest day.
What is that which every living person has seen, but will never see again? Yesterday.
What is the difference between dead soldiers and repaired garments? The former are dead men, and the latter are mended (dead).
Why, when you paint a man’s portrait, may you be described as stepping into his shoes? Because you make his feet yours (features).
Why may a beggar wear a very short coat? Because it will be long enough before he gets another.
Which is the most valuable, a five-dollar note or five gold dollars? The note, because when you put it in your pocket you double it, and when you take it out again you see it increases.
What is the difference between the Prince of Wales and the water in a fountain? One is heir to the throne, the other thrown to the air.
Why is a pretty young lady like a wagon wheel? Because she is surrounded by felloes (fellows).
When is it dangerous to enter a church? When there is a canon in the reading-desk, a great gun in the pulpit, and a bishop charges the congregation.
What is the difference between form and ceremony? You sit upon one and stand on the other.