What is the most awkward time for a train to start? 12.50, as it’s ten to one if you catch it.
Why can negroes be safely trusted with secrets? Because they are sure to keep dark.
Why is a camel a very pugnacious animal? Because he always has his back up.
Why are doctors bad characters? Because the worse people are the more they are with them.
Why did Lady Wellesley do a very unladylike thing when she married the late Lord Ragland Somerset? Because she turned a Somerset.
Why can the world be compared to music? Because it is so full of sharps and flats.
Why does a goose go into the water? For diver’s reasons.
Why does a goose come out of the water? For sun-dry reasons.
Why is a stick of candy like a race-horse? Because the more you lick it the faster it goes.
Why is a naughty school-boy like a postage-stamp? Because you lick him with a stick and stand him in the corner.