How did the sandwiches get there? When Ham was sent there with his followers, who were bred (bread) and mustered (mustard).
If a tough beefsteak could speak, what English poet would it mention? Chaucer (chaw, sir).
Why can you never expect a fisherman to be generous? Because his business makes him sell fish.
When is a bonnet not a bonnet? When it becomes a pretty woman.
Why are young ladies bad grammarians? Because so few can decline matrimony.
Why can a blind man always see his father? Because the father is always apparent (a parent).
What does Washington, D. C., stand for? Washington, daddy of his country.
Why was a defeated candidate after the late election, like the earth? Because he was flattened at the poles.
When was beef the highest? When the cow jumped over the moon.
What ailment is the oak most subject to? A corn (acorn).