Give a definition of love. An inward inexpressibility and an outward alloverishness; or, the classical definition of a collegiate is, “Love is the so-ness, as it were, of the white heat fusion of the intellect, sensibility, and will.”
When is charity like a top? When it begins to hum.
Why is a man sometimes like dough? Not because a woman needs (kneads) him, but because he is hard to get off of her hands.
Why does a minister always say “dearly beloved brethren” and not refer to the sisters? Because the brethren embrace the sisters.
What part of a ragged garment resembles the Pope’s title? Its Holiness.
Why are a dead duck and a dead doctor alike? Because they have both stopped quacking.
When is the best time to read from the book of nature? When the spring opens the leaves and the autumn turns them.
In what liquid does the Queen of England take her medicine? In cider (side her).
Why is a restless man in bed like a lawyer? Because he lies on one side, then turns around and lies on the other.
Why do tailors make very ardent lovers? Because they press their suits.