What is the centre of gravity? The letter V.

What three letters turn a girl into a woman? A-g-e.

Although great wealth is said to harden the heart, what is every millionaire sure to be? A capital fellow.

What belongs to yourself, and is used by your friends more than by yourself? Your name.

When is a soldier like an old toper? When he re-treats.

Why is a policeman like a rainbow? Because he rarely appears until the storm is over.

What is the difference between a milkmaid and a swallow? The milkmaid skims the milk, the swallow skims the water.

Why is a man’s face shaved in January like a celebrated fur? Because it’s a chin-chilly.

What is that which was born without a soul, lived and got a soul, but died without a soul? The whale that swallowed Jonah.

What is the difference between a Roman Catholic priest and a Baptist? One uses wax candles—the other dips.