Why is a lawn mower like the keeper of a bucket shop? Because it shaves the green.
When may a loaf of bread be said to be inhabited? When it has a little Indian in it.
Why are ships like fortunes? Because they are built on stocks.
How does a soldier know when it is time to fight? When he sees a battle-me(a)nt.
At what age should a man marry? At the parsonage.
What kind of essence does a young man like when he pops the question? Acquiescence.
When is a soldier like a horse? When he draws a load.
Why is it nonsense to pretend that love is blind? Because you never knew a man in love that did not see ten times more in his sweetheart than others did.
Why are fixed stars like wicked old men? Because they scintillate (sin till-late).
Why is an egg underdone like an egg overdone? They are both hardly done.