How is the best way to make a coat last? To make the trousers and vest first.
What word of four syllables would a man utter if he should eat his wife and wanted to express his approbation of the deed? Gladiator (glad I ate her).
Why does a cat look on first one side and then another when she enters a room? Because she can’t look on both sides at the same time.
Why is a widower like a young baby? Because he cries a great deal the first six months, looks around the second six months, and has hard work to get through his second summer.
Why is Philadelphia more subject to earthquakes than any other city? Because she is a Quaker city.
Why is a policeman on his beat like an Irishman rolling down a hill? Because he’s patroling (Pat rolling).
If the alphabet were all invited out to supper, in what order would they come? They would all get there down to S, and the rest would come after T.
What would contain all the snuff in the world? No one nose (knows).
Why is a hound like a man with a bald head? Because he makes a little hare (hair) go a long ways.
What is the first thing a man sets in his garden? His foot.