Who were the first astronomers? The stars, because they have studded the heavens ever since the creation.
When may you be said to imbibe a piano? When you have a piano for tea (pianoforte).
When may bread be said to be alive? When it has a little Indian in it.
Why does a bachelor who has a counterfeit half dollar passed on him want to get married? To get a better half.
Why does a sculptor die a most horrible death? Because he makes faces and busts.
Why do we generally dub a city her or she? Because about a city there is so much bustle and because she has outskirts.
Why does a hair-dresser die a sad death? Because he curls up and dies (dyes).
Why are washwomen great flirts? Because they wring men’s bosoms.
If thirty-two degrees is freezing point, what is squeezing point? Two in the shade.
Prove that the winds are blind. The wind is a zephyr, a zephyr is a yarn, a yarn is a story, a story is a tale, a tail is an attachment, an attachment is love, and love is blind; therefore, the winds are blind.