Why do carpenters have great faith in soothsayers? They cannot work without an auger (augur).
What does a yawning policeman resemble? An open-faced watch.
Why is a crow like a lawyer? He likes to have his caws (cause) heard.
What is the political character of a water-wheel? Revolutionary.
Why are umbrellas like good churchmen? They keep Lent so well.
Why is a cat going up three pair of stairs like a high hill? Because she’s a-mountin’.
What three letters give the name of a famous Roman general? C-P-O (Scipio).
Why should England be a very dry country? Because there has been but one reign there in over fifty years.
Why is a nice, but uncultured girl like brown sugar? Because she is sweet but unrefined.
Why are some women very much like tea-kettles? Because they sing away pleasantly and then all at once boil over.