CORRESPONDENCE OF PUBLIC OFFICIALS
Congressmen and other public officials are as a rule more careful correspondents than are men whose letters are never to be seen by the public at large. There is a certain well-defined form for a letter meant for public consumption which distinguishes it from correspondence of a more private nature. Thus a Congressman, writing a “public letter,” would cast it in the following form:
A Correct “Public Letter” from a Congressman
Mr. Ellison Lothrop,
Vice-Pres. Washington Co.. “Better Citizenship” League,
MY DEAR MR. LOTHROP:
You have requested that I give to the Washington County Better
Citizenship League, of which you are an active vice-president,
some expression of my views upon the question of Prohibition.
Sir, can there be any doubt as to the belief of every right
thinking American citizen in this matter? The Eighteenth
Amendment is here and here, thank God, to stay! The great benefit
which Prohibition has done to the poor and the working classes is
reason enough for its continued existence. It is for the
manufacturers, the professional class, the capitalists to give up
gladly whatever small pleasure they may have derived from the use
of alcohol, in order that John Jones, workingman, may have money
in the bank and a happy home, instead of his Saturday night
debauch. In every democracy the few sacrifice for the many—“the
greatest good of the greatest number” is the slogan. And I, for
one, am proud to have been a member of that legislative body
which passed so truly God-bidden and democratic an act as the
Eighteenth Amendment.
I beg to remain, with best wishes to your great
organization,
Sincerely yours,
WALTER G. TOWNSLEY.
A Correct Private Letter of a Congressman
DEAR BOB:
Tell that fellow on Mulberry Street that I will pay $135 a case
for Scotch and $90 for gin delivered and not a cent more.
W. G. T.
The problem of an introduction when there is no mutual acquaintance is sometimes perplexing. But the young man, having had the good taste to purchase a copy of PERFECT BEHAVIOR, is having no difficulty. He has fastened a rope across the sidewalk in front of the lady’s house and, with the aid of a match and some kerosene, has set fire to the house. Driven by the heat, the young lady will eventually emerge and in her haste will fall over the rope. To a gentleman of gallantry and ingenuity the rest should be comparatively simple.
A knowledge of the language of flowers is essential to a successful courtship and may avoid much unnecessary pain. With the best intentions in the world the young man is about to present the young lady with a flower of whose meaning he is in total ignorance. The young lady, being a faithful student of PERFECT BEHAVIOR, knows its exact meaning and it will be perfectly correct for her to turn and, with a frigid bow, break the pot over the young man’s head. Alas, how differently this romance might have ended if the so-called “friends” of the young man had tactfully but firmly pointed out to him the value of a book on etiquette such as PERFECT BEHAVIOR.