A. The married women put their backsides into their husbands’ arms:—Virgins, and those going mad for marriage, their maidenhead keeps them warm:—old matrons, and whirl’d-o’er maidens, and widows bewitched, hold their coldest parts to the fire.
Q. And what remedy does the poor dog take for his cold nose?
A. He staps it below his tail, the hotest bit in his body.
Q. What is the reason the dogs are worst on chapmen than on any other strangers?
A. It is said, the dogs have three accusations against the chapman, which has been handed down from father to son, or from one generation of dogs to another: the first is as old as Æsop, the great wit of Babylon.—The dogs having a lawsuit against the cats, they gained the plea: one of the dogs coming trudging home with the Decreet below his tail, a wicked chapman threw his ell-wan at him, and he let the Decreet fall and so lost their great privileges thereby. The second is, because in old times the chapmen used to buy dogs and kill them for their skins. The third reason is, when a chapman was quartered at a farmer’s house, that night the Dog lost his right of licking the pot.
Q. What creature resembles most a drunken Piper?
A. A Cat when she sips milk, for then she always sings, and so does a piper when he drinks good ale.
Q. What is the reason a dog runs twice round before he lies down?
A. Because he does not know the head of his bed from the foot of it.
Q. What creature resembles most a long lean, ill-looking greasy-faced lady, for pride?