Why is flirting like plate-powder? Because it brightens the spoons.
What is a kiss? A receipt given you by a lady on paying your addresses.
When are kisses sweetest? When sirup-titiously (surreptitiously) obtained.
Why are two young ladies kissing each other an emblem of Christianity? Because they are doing unto each other as they would men should do unto them.
Why is confessing to a father confessor like killing bees? Because you un-buzz-'em (unbosom).
When does a leopard change his spots? When he moves from one spot to another.
When an old woman in a scarlet cloak was crossing a field in which a goat was browsing, what took place? The goat turned to butter (butt her), and the old woman into a scarlet runner.
What is the most wonderful animal in the farmyard? A pig, for he is killed and then cured.
Why is an elephant's head different from every other head? Because if you cut his head off his body you do not take it from the trunk.
Which has most legs, a cow or no cow? No cow has eight legs.