What is the difference between the cradle and the grave? The one is for the first born, the other for the last bourn.
Why must a Yankee speculator be very subject to water on the brain? Because he always has an ocean (a notion) in his head.
What trees has fire no effect upon? Ashes, as when burned, they are ashes still.
If a tree were to break the panes of a window, what would they say? Tree, mend us (tremendous).
When is a charade like a fir-tree? When you get a deal bored from its length.
Why is a jeweler like a screeching singer? Because he pierces the ears.
Why is an old man's head like a song executed by an indifferent singer? Because it is often terribly bawled (bald).
Why is a piano like an onion? Because it's mell-odious (melodious).
What sort of medicine is most like a sick monkey? A pill (ape-ill).
When is a girl like a mirror? When she's a good-looking (g)lass.