What is the difference between some women and their looking-glasses? They talk without reflecting, and the mirrors reflect without talking.
What is the best way to prevent water coming into your house? Do not pay your water rates.
What do ladies look for when they go to church? The hymns (hims).
When may a man's coat-pocket be empty and yet have something in it? When it has a hole in it.
What is the difference between a sweep and a man in mourning? One is blacked with soot, and the other is suited with black.
What is the difference between killed soldiers and repaired garments? The former are dead men, the latter are mended (men dead).
Why does a salmon die before it lives? Because its existence is ova before it comes to life.
When is a schoolboy like a postage stamp? When he is licked and put in the corner to make him stick to his letters.
What is the difference between an engine-driver and a schoolmaster? One minds the train, the other trains the mind.
When is a member of Congress ferocious? When he inserts his claws (clause) into the Bill of another member.