What is the best description of "rapid consumption"? Bolting one's food.
Why does a fox-hound wag his tail? Because he is stronger than his tail, otherwise his tail would wag him.
Why is a gooseberry tart like a bad coin? Because it's not currant (current).
When is a blow from a lady welcome? When she strikes you agreeably.
When you give a lady a lock of your hair, what else does she receive from you at the same time? A key to your feelings.
Why is a pretty girl like a locomotive engine? Because she sends off the sparks, transports the mails, has a train following her, and passes over the plain.
What part of speech is kissing? A conjunction.
Why are there more marriages in winter than in summer? Because the men seek comforters, and the ladies seek muffs.
How do the young ladies show their dislike of mustaches? By setting their faces against them.
Why are young ladies bad grammarians? Because you seldom find one who can decline Matrimony.