Where is it that all women are equally beautiful? In the dark.
Why do girls like looking at the moon? Because there's a man in it.
Why is a prosy preacher like the middle of a wheel? Because the felloes around it are tired.
Why is the rudder of a steamboat like a hangman? It has a stern duty to perform.
What is the difference between a cat and a document? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other has pauses at the end of its clauses.
What two beaus can every lady have near at hand? El-bows.
When is a man like a cannon-ball? When he looks round.
When does the House of Representatives present one of the most ludicrous spectacles? When its ayes (eyes) are on one side, and its noes (nose) on the other.
What three acts comprise the chief business of some women's lives? Attr-act, contr-act, detr-act.
Why does a donkey eat a thistle? Because he's an ass.