Why is a schoolboy being flogged like your eye? Because he's a pupil under the lash.
Why does a blow leave a blue mark? Because blow, when perfect, makes blew.
When has a man brown hands? When he's tand-'em driving.
Why is the leading horse in a wagon-team like the acceptor of a bill? Because he's the end horse, sir (endorser).
Why is a man marrying a second time like sal volatile? Because it's re-wiving.
When may a lady be absolutely pronounced to be quite past recovery? When she is speechless, and can only chatter with her teeth.
Why are ladies' eyes like persons separated by the Atlantic Ocean? Because, although they may correspond, they never meet.
What two ages often prove illusory? Mir-age and marri-age.
State the difference between a grocer selling a pound of sugar, and an apothecary's boy with a pestle and mortar. One weighs a pound, the other pounds away.
Why is gritty coffee like the Subway? It may be considered underground.