When does a pig become landed property? When he is turned into a meadow.
What is the difference between a cow and a rickety chair? One gives milk and the other gives whey (way).
What flower most resembles a bull's mouth? The cowslip.
When is a lady deformed? When mending stockings; because she then has her hands where her feet ought to be.
Why is the proprietor of a balloon like a phantom? Because he's an airy-nought (aëronaut).
Why do little birds in their nests agree? For fear of falling out.
Why is the flight of an eagle a most unpleasant sight to witness? Because it's an eye-sore ('igh soar).
What impermeable fabric is a sparrow like? Gutter percher (gutta percha).
Which of the feathered tribe can lift the heaviest weights? The crane.
Why does the rope dancer invariably have to repeat his performances? Because they are always on cord (encored).