What animal keeps the best time? A watch dog.

When is a young lady's cheek not a cheek? When it is a little pale (pail).

When is a nose not a nose? When it is a little reddish (radish).

What sort of a face does the auctioneer like best? One that is for-bidding.

When is a straight field not a straight field? When it is a rye field (a wry).

What is it that walks with its head downward? A nail in a shoe.

Why are the hours from one to twelve like good Christians? Because they are always on the watch.

Why is a hen walking across the road like a conspiracy? Because it is a foul proceeding.

What sort of sympathy would you rather be without? You don't want to be pitted by the small-pox.

What is that which we often return but never borrow? Thanks.