Why is a mad bull an animal of convivial disposition? Because he offers a horn to every one he meets.
When is silence likely to get wet? When it reigns.
How do you make a Maltese cross? Pull its tail.
What is a waste (waist) of time? The middle of an hour glass.
Who is the most popular preacher? Jack in the pulpit. Why? Because he is silent.
Why is a muddy road a guardian of the public safety? Because it reduces the speed of autos.
Why does a student never lead a sedentary life? Because he's always pursuing his studies.
Why are bishops like superannuated washerwomen? Because they wear lawn dresses (were laundresses).
Why can no clergyman have a wooden leg? Because, although a chaplain may be a plain chap, a parson can't be a lame un (layman).
If thirty-two degrees is freezing point, what is squeezing point? Two in the shade.