CHAPTER X.
Engagements at and about home, 1815.—Visit to the monthly meetings within the circuit of Nine Partners quarterly meeting, 1815.
First day, the 18th of 6th month, 1815. My mind towards the close of our meeting, was opened into a view of the excellency and advantage of having our minds actuated invariably, by a principle of strict and impartial justice, and of having just ideas and apprehensions of the divine character. For nothing short of this, is able to establish our faith in God on its right basis, and to give us an unshaken hope and trust in his divine sufficiency, and bring us to experience that love of our benevolent Creator, and of our fellow creatures which casteth out all fear. As I communicated, the prospect enlarged and brought a solemn weight over the meeting, and we parted under a sense of the favour.
The rest of the week was spent in close attention to my temporal concerns, except attending our fifth day meeting.
First day, the 25th. Sat our meeting to-day in solemn silence, being much depressed in mind on account of the improper conduct of some of my friends, fellow members in society, by which I apprehended the noble cause we had espoused was in danger of being hurt, and the unity of the Church broken, which to me was a cause of real sorrow of heart.
Except attending our fifth day meeting, which I sat in silence, the rest of this week was occupied in my common avocations, and ended with a peaceful mind, which is a hidden treasure of more value than the golden wedge of Ophir.
First day, the 2d of 7th month. As I sat in our meeting, my mind was early impressed with that important scripture passage of the psalmist: “Let God arise, let his enemies be scattered.” It led to communication, in which I was largely opened to set forth the very necessary truths it comprehended, especially as it regards man’s salvation. For it shows clearly that man may prevent his thus arising, and thereby hinder his own salvation: and it also shows, that unless we know him to arise and become supreme and chief ruler in our hearts, agreeably to his own good will and pleasure, we cannot be saved nor come to know his enemies to be scattered. Therefore it becomes us as poor helpless creatures, patiently to wait, and quietly to hope for his arising, with penitent hearts and willing minds, ready to receive him in the way of his coming; although it may be “as a refiner with fire, or as a fuller with soap.” It is also necessary for us to know this arising to be within us and not without us; and to be with power, binding the man of sin and son of perdition, which is self, or the strong man armed; whose goods, while he rules, are at peace: but when we permit a stronger than he, who only is God, to come in or arise with power, “he will bind the strong man armed, and cast him out; and then he will spoil his goods,” that is, cleanse the heart from all the old rubbish of sin and uncleanness, and purify his temple and make it a fit receptacle for his holiness to dwell in. It was a season of favour. Many gospel truths were clearly opened to the auditory who gave solid attention; may they fix as a nail in a sure place.
I was under considerable bodily indisposition most of this week. On fifth day, so much so, as almost to give up the prospect of getting to meeting; but I put on my usual resolution and went, and was glad in so doing, as there I met with that peace of God that passeth all understanding, which is only known by being felt. I had to declare to my friends how good it is to trust in the Lord with all the heart, and lean not to our own understandings, lest they fail us.
On sixth day I attended the funeral of a kinsman, a neighbour, who had spent much of his life in a careless irreligious manner, very seldom attending any religious meetings, and was very ignorant as it respected the things of God and his own salvation; but for a year or more before his death, he was greatly afflicted with bodily indisposition, from which he suffered long and very deeply. It brought him to a solemn consideration respecting his latter end, and I had a hope it worked for his good, as he manifested a state of resignation; so that he bore his affliction with much patience and quietude of mind. My heart and my mouth were opened on the occasion, to warn the people, and to call their attention to the necessity of an early preparation for death; showing them that it bordered even on presumption, for such poor impotent helpless creatures as we are, whose time is dealt to us by moments, even to dare to close our eyes to sleep, without first being well assured that our peace was made with our great and gracious Creator. Many minds were considerably humbled, and I hope the labour will not be lost, but be as bread cast upon the waters, that some may gather after many days.