“Thus through my preaching,” he continued, “have come many of the superstitions of the papists, and the old fables first to the world, and the whole under the shape of some goodness. For who ever swallows the hook without some bait? who ever would believe a story if there were not some measure of truth mingled with the falsehood; or some semblance of good to shade the evil? Thus if I find an opportunity in preaching, to push in amongst a hundred correct and salutary counsels, one of my own, with this one I will do you, either through contentiousness or superstition, more advantage than all the rest of my counsels will do you harm.” “Well,” said Lucifer, “since you are of such utility in your pulpit, I order you for seven years, to take up your abode in the mouth of one of the barn-preachers, who will be sure to utter the first thing which comes to his tongue’s end. Then you will find an opportunity to put in a word now and then, to your own purpose.”
There were still many more devils and damned who were twisting through one another like lightning, around the throne of Terrors, to give an account of what they had done, and again to receive commissions. But suddenly and unexpectedly, an order was given to all the messengers and the prisoners, to go out of the palace, every one to his hole, and to leave the king and his chief counsellors there alone. “Had we not best depart,” said I to my companion, “lest they should find us?” “You need not fear,” said the angel “no unclean spirit will ever see through this veil.” Thus we continued there invisible, to see what was the matter. Then Lucifer began to speak graciously to his counsellors, in this manner:—“O ye, the chief spiritual evils!—ye, who for subtlety are unequalled in Unknown, I request you in my need, to exert to the uttermost your malicious wiles. No one here is unaware, that Britain and the surrounding isles, constitute the kingdom most dangerous to my authority, and most abounding with my enemies; and what is a hundred times worse, there is at present there a queen, who does not offer to turn once hitherward, either by the road of Rome on the one hand, or the road of Geneva on the other. Notwithstanding, all the service which the Pope has rendered us there for a long time, and Oliver for some years past, how far are we from our object? what shall we do now? I am afraid that we shall lose there our ancient possession, and our market entirely, if we do not pave immediately some new way for its inhabitants to walk in, for they know all the old roads which lead hither too well. And, since yonder invincible fist shortens my chain, and prevents me from going myself to the earth, counsel me, I pray you, as to whom I shall make my deputy, to oppose yonder detestable queen,
who is the deputy of our enemy.” “O mighty emperor of Darkness!” said Cerberus, the devil of Tobacco, “make a deputy of me, from whom the crown of Britain derives the third part of its revenue. I will go and will send to you a hundred thousand of the souls of your enemies, through the hollow of a pipe.” “Well, well,” said Lucifer, “you have done me excellent service, by causing the proprietors of tobacco in India to be slaughtered, and those who take it to die of diseases, and sending many to vend it idly from house to house, and making others to steal in order to obtain it, and thousands to love it so far, that they cannot be a day without it in their right senses.
“Therefore go and do thy best; but, I tell thee, that thou art little better than nothing in the present exigency.” Thereupon Cerberus sat down, and uprose Mammon, devil of Money, and with a morose sinister look said:—“I showed men the first mine from which they got money, and therefore, I am always extolled and worshipped more than God; men undergo for me trouble and danger, and place their whole mind, their delight, and their trust upon me: there is no one easy, because he has not obtained somewhat more of my favour, and the more they obtain the farther are they ever from rest, until at length by seeking easy circumstances, they arrive at the country of Eternal Torments. How many a crafty old miser have I not deluded hither, along paths more difficult than those which lead to the kingdom of Happiness? At fair or market, sessions or elections, or any other assemblage of people, who has more subjects? who has more power and authority than I? Cursing, swearing, fighting, litigating, plotting, deceiving, striking, hoarding, murdering and robbing, sabbath breaking and uncharitableness, all proceed from me:
and there is no other black mark, which stamps men as belonging to the fold of Lucifer, which I have not a hand in giving, on which account I am called ‘the root of all evil.’ Therefore if it seem good to your majesty, I will go.” And having said that he sat down.
Then arose Apollyon. “I do not know,” said he, “any thing that will bring the Britons hither, more certainly than what brought yourselves—that is Pride: if she ever plant her pole within them and inflate them, there is no reason to fear that they will stoop to lift the cross, or go through the narrow gate. I will go,” said he, “with my daughter Pride, and will cause the Welsh, by gazing on the magnificence of the English, and the English, by imitating the frivolities of the French, to tumble into this place before they know where they are.”
Next arose Asmodeus, devil of Wantonness. “You cannot but be aware,” said he, “O most mighty sovereign of the Abyss! and you, ye princes of the country of Despair! how I have crammed the nooks of Hell through debauchery and lasciviousness. What need have I to speak of the time, when I kindled such a flame of lust in the whole world, that it was necessary to send the flood, to clear the earth of its inhabitants, and to sweep them to us in the unquenchable fire; or of Sodom and Gomorrah, fair and pleasant cities, whose people I burnt with wantonness, till their infernal lusts brought down a fiery shower, which drove them hither alive to burn to all eternity; or of the vast army of the Assyrians, which was slain all in one night on account of me? Sarah I disappointed of seven husbands; Solomon, the wisest of men, and many thousand other kings I blinded by means of women. Therefore,” said he, “suffer me to go with my
sweet sin, and I will kindle in Britain the sparks of Hell so universally, that it shall become one with this place of unextinguishable flame; for there is not much chance, that any one will return from following me, to lay hold of the paths of Life.” And thereupon he sat down.
Then arose Belphegor, prince of Sloth and Idleness. “I am,” said he, “the great prince of Listlessness and Laziness; great is my power on myriads of men of all ages and degrees. I am the still pool, where ‘the root of all evil’ is generated; where coagulate the dregs of all destructive corruption and filthiness. What would you be worth, Asmodeus; or you, ye other master spirits of evil, without me who keep the window open for you, without any watch, so that you may go into man by his eyes, by his ears, by his mouth, and by every other orifice which he has, whensoever you please. I will go, and will roll to you all the inhabitants of Britain over the precipice in their sleep.”
Then arose Satan, the devil of Deceit, who sat next to Lucifer on his left hand, and after turning a frightful visage on the king,—“It is unnecessary for me,” he said, “to declare my deeds to you, O lost archangel! or to you, black princes of Destruction! because it was I who struck the first blow which man ever received; and a mighty blow it was, causing him to remain mortal, from the beginning of the world to its end. Do you imagine that I, who despoiled the whole world, cannot at present give counsel which will serve for a paltry islet? And cannot I, who cheated Eve in Paradise, vanquish Anne in Britain? If no natural craft will avail, and continued experience for more than five thousand years, my counsel to you is, to dress up your daughter Hypocrisy, to deceive Britain and its queen; you have not a daughter in