293. To the above I will add TWO MEMORABLE RELATIONS. FIRST. Some time ago as I was looking through a window to the east, I saw seven women sitting in a garden of roses at a certain fountain, and drinking the water. I strained my eye-sight greatly to see what they were doing, and this effort of mine affected them; wherefore one of them beckoned me, and I immediately quitted the house and came to them. When I joined them, I courteously inquired whence they were. They said, "We are wives, and are here conversing respecting the delights of conjugial love, and from much consideration we conclude, that they are also the delights of wisdom." This answer so delighted my mind (animum), that I seemed to be in the spirit, and thence in perception more interior and more enlightened than on any former occasion; wherefore I said to them, "Give me leave to propose a few questions respecting those satisfactions." On their consenting, I asked, "How do you wives know that the delights of conjugial love are the same as the delights of wisdom?" They replied, "We know it from the correspondence of our husbands' wisdom with our own delights of conjugial love; for the delights of this love with ourselves are exalted and diminished and altogether qualified, according to the wisdom of our husbands." On hearing this, I said, "I know that you are affected by the agreeable conversation of your husbands and their cheerfulness of mind, and that you derive thence a bosom delight; but I am surprised to hear you say, that their wisdom produces this effect; but tell me what is wisdom, and what wisdom (produces this effect)?" To this the wives indignantly replied, "Do you suppose that we do not know what wisdom is, and what wisdom (produces that effect), when yet we are continually reflecting upon it as in our husbands, and learn it daily from their mouths? For we wives think of the state of our husbands from morning to evening; there is scarcely an hour in the day, in which our intuitive thought is altogether withdrawn from them, or is absent; on the other hand, our husbands think very little in the day respecting our state; hence we know what wisdom of theirs it is that gives us delight. Our husbands call that wisdom spiritual rational, and spiritual moral. Spiritual rational wisdom, they say, is of the understanding and knowledges, and spiritual moral wisdom of the will and life; but these they join together and make a one, and insist that the satisfactions of this wisdom are transferred from their minds into the delights in our bosoms, and from our bosoms into theirs, and thus return to wisdom their origin." I then asked, "Do you know anything more respecting the wisdom of your husbands which gives you delight?" They said, "We do. There is spiritual wisdom, and thence rational and moral wisdom. Spiritual wisdom is to acknowledge the Lord the Saviour as the God of heaven and earth, and from Him to procure the truths of the church, which is effected by means of the Word and of preachings derived therefrom, whence comes spiritual rationality; and from Him to live according to those truths, whence comes spiritual morality. These two our husbands call the wisdom which in general operates to produce love truly conjugial. We have heard from them also that the reason of this is, because, by means of that wisdom, the interiors of their minds and thence of their bodies are opened, whence there exists a free passage from first principles even to last for the stream of love; on the flow, sufficiency, and virtue of which conjugial love depends and lives. The spiritual rational and moral wisdom of our husbands, specifically in regard to marriage, has for its end and object to love the wife alone, and to put away all concupiscence for other women; and so far as this is effected, so far that love is exalted as to degree, and perfected as to quality; and also so far we feel more distinctly and exquisitely the delights in ourselves corresponding to the delights of the affections and the satisfactions of the thoughts of our husbands." I inquired afterwards, whether they knew how communication is effected. They said, "In all conjunction by love there must be action, reception, and reaction. The delicious state of our love is acting or action, the state of the wisdom of our husbands is recipient or reception, and also is reacting or reaction according to perception; and this reaction we perceive with delights in the breast according to the state continually expanded and prepared to receive those things which in any manner agree with the virtue belonging to our husbands, thus also with the extreme state of love belonging to ourselves, and which thence proceed." They said further, "Take heed lest by the delights which we have mentioned, you understand the ultimated delights of that love: of these we never speak, but of our bosom delights, which always correspond with the state of the wisdom of our husbands." After this there appeared at a distance as it were a dove flying with the leaf of a tree in its mouth: but as it approached, instead of a dove I saw it was a little boy with a paper in his hand: on coming to us he held it out to me, and said, "Read it before these Maidens of the fountain." I then read as follows, "Tell the inhabitants of your earth, that there is a love truly conjugial having myriads of delights, scarce any of which are as yet known to the world; but they will be known, when the church betroths herself to her Lord, and is married." I then asked, "Why did the little boy call you Maidens of the fountain?" They replied, "We are called maidens when we sit at this fountain; because we are affections of the truths of the wisdom of our husbands, and the affection of truth is called a maiden; a fountain also signifies the true of wisdom, and the bed of roses, on which we sir, the delights thereof." Then one of the seven wove a garland of roses, and sprinkled it with water of the fountain, and placed it on the boy's cap round his little head, and said, "Receive the delights of intelligence; know that a cap signifies intelligence; and a garland from this rose-bed delights." The boy thus decorated then departed, and again appeared a distance like a flying dove, but now with a coronet on his head.
294. THE SECOND MEMORABLE RELATION. After some days I again saw the seven wives in a garden of roses, but not in the same as before. Its magnificence was such as I had never before seen: it was round, and the roses in it formed as it were a rainbow. The roses or flowers of a purple color formed its outermost circle, others of a yellow golden color formed the next interior circle, within this were others of a bright blue, and the inmost of a shining green; and within this rainbow rose-bed was a small lake of limpid water. These seven wives, who were called the Maidens of the fountain, as they were sitting there seeing me again at the window, called me to them; and when I was come they said, "Did you ever see anything more beautiful upon the earth?" I replied, "Never." They then said, "Such scenery is created instantaneously by the Lord, and represents something new on the earth; for every thing created by the Lord is representative: but what is this? tell, if you can: we say it is the delights of conjugial love." On hearing this, I said, "What! the delights of conjugial love, respecting which you before conversed with so much wisdom and eloquence! After I had left you, I related your conversation to some wives in our country, and said, 'I now know from instruction that you have bosom delights arising from your conjugial love, which you can communicate to your husbands according to their wisdom, and that on this account you look at your husbands with the eyes of your spirit from morning to evening, and study to bend and draw their minds (animos) to become wise, to the end that you may secure those delights.' I mentioned also that by wisdom you understand spiritual rational and moral wisdom, and in regard to marriage, the wisdom to love the wife alone, and to put away all concupiscence for other women: but to these things the wives of our country answered with laughter, saying, 'What is all this but mere idle talk? We do not know what conjugial love is. If our husbands possess any portion of it, still we do not; whence then come its delights to us? yea, in regard to what you call ultimate delights, we at times refuse them with violence, for they are unpleasant to us, almost like violations: and you will see, if you attend to it, no sign of such love in our faces: wherefore you are trifling or jesting, if you also assert, with those seven wives, that we think of our husbands from morning to evening, and continually attend to their will and pleasure in order to catch from them such delights.' I have retained thus much of what they said, that I might relate it to you; since it is repugnant, and also in manifest contradiction, to what I heard from you near the fountain, and which I so greedily imbibed and believed." To this the wives sitting in the rose garden replied, "Friend, you know not the wisdom and prudence of wives; for they totally hide it from the men, and for no other end than that they may be loved: for every man who is not spiritually but only naturally rational and moral, is cold towards his wife; and the cold lies concealed in his inmost principles. This is exquisitely and acutely observed by a wise and prudent wife; who so far conceals her conjugial love, and withdraws it into her bosom, and there hides it so deeply that it does not at all appear in her face, in the tone of her voice, or in her behaviour. The reason of this is, because so far as it appears, so far the conjugial cold of the man diffuses itself from the inmost principles of his mind, where it resides, into its ultimates, and occasions in the body a total coldness, and a consequent endeavour to separate from bed and chamber." I then asked, "Whence arises that which you call conjugial cold?" They replied, "From the insanity of the men in regard to spiritual things; and every one who is insane in regard to spiritual things; in his inmost principles is cold towards his wife, and warm towards harlots; and since conjugial love and adulterous love are opposite to each other, it follows that conjugial love becomes cold when illicit love is warm; and when cold prevails with the man, he cannot endure any sense of love, and thus not any allusion thereto, from his wife; therefore the wife so wisely and prudently conceals that love; and so far as she conceals it by denying and refusing it, so far the man is cherished and recruited by the influent meretricious sphere. Hence it is, that the wife of such a man has no bosom delights such as we have, but only pleasures, which, on the part of the man, ought to be called the pleasures of insanity, because they are the pleasures of illicit love. Every chaste wife loves her husband, even if he be unchaste; but since wisdom is alone recipient of that love, therefore she exerts all her endeavours to turn his insanity into wisdom, that is, to prevent his lusting after other women besides herself. This she does by a thousand methods, being particularly cautious lest any of them should be discovered by the man; for she is well aware that love cannot be forced, but that it is insinuated in freedom; wherefore it is given to women to know from the sight, the hearing, and the touch, every state of the mind of their husbands; but on the other hand it is not given to the men to know any state of the mind of their wives. A chaste wife can look at her husband with an austere countenance, accost him with a harsh voice, and also be angry and quarrel, and yet in her heart cherish a soft and tender love towards him; but such anger and dissimulation have for their end wisdom, and thereby the reception of love with the husband: as is manifest from the consideration, that she can be reconciled in an instant. Besides, wives use such means of concealing the love implanted in their inmost heart, with a view to prevent conjugial cold bursting forth with the man, and extinguishing the fire of his adulterous heat, and thus converting him from green wood into a dry stick." When the seven wives had expressed these and many more similar sentiments, their husbands came with clusters of grapes in their hands, some of which were of a delicate, and some of a disagreeable flavor; upon which the wives said, "Why have you also brought bad or wild grapes?" The husbands replied, "Because we perceived in our souls, with which yours are united, that you were conversing with that man respecting love truly conjugial, that its delights are the delights of wisdom, and also respecting adulterous love, that its delights are the pleasures of insanity. The latter are the disagreeable or wild grapes; the former are those of delicate flavor." They confirmed what their wives had said, and added that, "in externals, the pleasures of insanity appear like the delights of wisdom, but not so in internals; just like the good and bad grapes which we have brought; for both the chaste and the unchaste have similar wisdom in externals, but altogether dissimilar in internals." After this the little boy came again with a piece of paper in his hand, and held it out to me, saying, "Read this;" and I read as follows: "Know that the delights of conjugial love ascend to the highest heaven, and both in the way thither and also there, unite with the delights of all heavenly loves, and thereby enter into their happiness, which endures for ever; because the delights of that love are also the delights of wisdom: and know also, that the pleasures of illicit love descend even to the lowest hell, and, both in the way thither and also there, unite with the pleasures of all infernal loves, and thereby enter into their unhappiness, which consists in the wretchedness of all heart-delights; because the pleasures of that love are the pleasures of insanity." After this the husbands departed with their wives, and accompanied the little boy as far as to the way of his ascent into heaven; and they knew that the society from which he was sent was a society of the new heaven, with which the new church in the world will be conjoined.
ON BETROTHINGS AND NUPTIALS.
295. The subject of betrothings and nuptials, and also of the rites and ceremonies attending them, is here treated of principally from the reason of the understanding; for the object of this book is that the reader may see truths rationally, and thereby give his consent, for thus his spirit is convinced; and those things in which the spirit is convinced, obtain a place above those which, without consulting reason, enter from authority and the faith of authority; for the latter enter the head no further than into the memory, and there mix themselves with fallacies and falses; thus they are beneath the rational things of the understanding. From these any one may seem to converse rationally, but he will converse preposterously; for in such case he thinks as a crab walks, the sight following the tail: it is otherwise if he thinks from the understanding; for then the rational sight selects from the memory whatever is suitable, whereby it confirms truth viewed in itself. This is the reason why in this chapter several particulars are adduced which are established customs, as that the right of choice belongs to the men, that parents ought to be consulted, that pledges are to be given, that the conjugial covenant is to be settled previous to the nuptials, that it ought to be performed by a priest, also that the nuptials ought to be celebrated; besides several other particulars, which are here mentioned in order that every one may rationally see that such things are assigned to conjugial love, as requisite to promote and complete it. The articles into which this section is divided are the following; I. The right of choice belongs to the man, and not to the woman. II. The man ought to court and intreat the woman respecting marriage with him, and not the woman the man. III. The woman ought to consult her parents, or those who are in the place of parents, and then deliberate with herself, before she consents. IV. After a declaration of consent, pledges are to be given. V. Consent is to be secure and established by solemn betrothing. VI. By betrothing, each party is prepared for conjugial love. VII. By betrothing, the mind of the one is united to the mind of the other, so as to effect a marriage of the spirit previous to a marriage of the body. VIII. This is the case with those who think chastely of marriages: but it is otherwise with those who think unchastely of them. IX. Within the time of betrothing, it is not allowable to be connected corporeally. X. When the time of betrothing is completed, the nuptials ought to take place. XI. Previous to the celebration of the nuptials, the conjugial covenant is to be ratified in the presence of witnesses. XII. The marriage is to be consecrated by a priest. XIII. The nuptials are to be celebrated with festivity. XIV. After the nuptials, the marriage of the spirit is made also the marriage of the body, and thereby a full marriage. XV. Such is the order of conjugial love with its modes from its first heat to its first torch. XVI. Conjugial love precipitated without order and the modes thereof, burns up the marrows and is consumed. XVII. The states of the minds of each of the parties proceeding in successive order, flow into the state of marriage; nevertheless in one manner with the spiritual and in another with the natural. XVIII. There are successive and simultaneous orders, and the latter is from the former and according to it. We proceed to an explanation of each article.