"'Pardon me, sir,' said she, 'but as I know you think it strange that I have adopted this humble calling, I will tell you in brief how it happened. A change came over my father's fortunes, and from being a rich and influential merchant, he was, by what is called endorsing for others, reduced to a state of poverty, and so harassed by his creditors, who in their grasping for what he had would give him no chance to retrieve his fortunes, that he put an end to a miserable existence by hanging himself. My father was a man of simple tastes, and set a higher value upon his good name than upon the worldly show which was coming into fashion at that time. With my mother, it was quite different, for although she was much given to the church, and subscribed largely for the support of an expensive clergyman, she had a love of worldly show and ostentation, that not only reduced my father's means, but grievously distressed him. The sudden turn in our circumstances produced but little change in my mother, who set great value upon the good looks she imagined me possessing; and having some money of her own, we took board with Mrs. Marmaduke, who kept a boarding house for people of distinction, in Fifth Avenue, and was famous for the style and luxury of her establishment, which had been the scene of several rich matrimonial alliances.
"'Having previously formed the acquaintance of a poor but respectable young artist and poet, whose kindness and sincerity, as well as the great love he bore his art, in which he had already gained celebrity, so won my affections, that it seemed as if I could be happy with none other. And when my mother discovered how our inclinations were bent, she forbid him coming to the house. He had no money, she said, and painters were, in addition to being very generally fools, a shabby class of men, who were thought little of among rich merchants, and never took rank in the aristocracy-at least, not in this country. Putting these things together, she could not think of giving her consent to an alliance with such a person. In truth, sir, though my narrative may not interest you, I may mention that she more than once declared that painters and poets were such a shiftless set that they ought to be bundled into the sea together. 'Think! Maria,' she would say, 'of a thing with a weasel of dirty paints in his hands, and a bit of canvas, cut, may be, from some old ship's sail, before him, and he trying to get some curious notion upon it! A pretty person to go into society with, indeed!' This did not deter me from my purpose, so we would meet in saloons on Broadway, and exchange our affections, and concert measures for our mutual relief.
"'Matters proceeded in this way until Mr. Primrose and his friend, Mr. Sparks, came to the house. They professed to be Englishmen of wealth and station, educated at Oxford, and acquainted with enough of the nobility to enable them to mix with our best society. According to Mr. Sparks, his friend Mr. Primrose, to whom he paid great deference, had riches enough to purchase a kingdom or two. Mr. Primrose had a servant in livery, and arms painted on his carriage door, and the fleetest of horses. My mother was much taken with him, and Mrs. Marmaduke declared that a more perfect gentleman had never graced her drawing rooms. He took them both to operas, and balls, and sleigh rides. And he paid them such court as completely won their confidence. In truth, they were both so enamored of him, that they were singing his praises from morning till night. And when he had sufficiently won them over to him, he commenced paying his addresses to me, and so earnestly did he press his suit, that my mother declared it would not do to protract so excellent a chance. And notwithstanding my hand had been pledged to Milando, which was the name of the young painter, my mother insisted, and our nuptials were celebrated, though much against my will. It seems a report, which my mother did not see fit to contradict, had got out that I was the only heir to a large estate, which was the prize Mr. Primrose sought to secure. In two short months the truth was revealed. I had no dowry, which so disappointed him, that he began to cast reflections on my poverty, adding that he had been deceived by the false representations of my artful mother. This gave me so much pain, that I sought relief for my distress in frequenter interviews with Milando, who, seeing himself ill treated for his poverty, resolved to quit a profession in which neglect and distrust too often repay its votaries, and take to one that would at least afford him money; which, according to the fashion of the day, was the only passport into what was called good society.
"'Mr. Sparks quarreled with Mr. Primrose, who was in arrears for board with Mrs. Marmaduke, and let it out that he was only a knight of the needle, who had formerly resided in Bermuda, which he left for a cause it is not worth while to mention here, though he was skillful enough at making breeches, and getting up odd liveries for ambitious families. He was missing one morning, and as his friend Sparks had taken the precaution to precede him, there were so many inquiries for him at Mrs. Marmaduke's, that it soon became clear he had left to escape the importunities of his creditors. In truth, he was declared an impostor, and the whole affair got into the newspapers, the editors of which set about ferreting out a few of his exploits, when it was found that the deception practiced upon me was only one among many, for he had gained a victory over the affections of several widows, and left no less than three wives to sorrow. And so skillfully were his exploits performed, that each victim imagined him the most sincere and devoted of lovers.
"'This sad occurrence, and its publicity, so mortified my mother, who was harassed with debts she had contracted to keep up appearances, that she survived it but a month. I was then left like a hapless mariner tossed on a troubled sea, and with no friend near. Mrs. Marmaduke made me a mere vassal in her house, and the inmates treated me as if I were born to be scorned. Milando was my only hope, my only true friend-the only one to whom I could confide my heart achings, to whom I could look to save me from a life of shame, to which remorse had almost driven me. And will you believe that he invoked a curse, and resolved to leave his profession, (for he could not live like those shabby men of the newspapers,) to seek means whereby he could live without struggling in poverty and want. True, the wealthy gave him orders for paintings, affected great love for his art, of which they held themselves great patrons when they had bought two pictures. But, as a general thing, they had most excuses when he called, and were least ready to pay, which so tried his proud spirit, that he more than once resigned the pictures to them rather than be a supplicant for his pay.
"'Necessity at last drove him to painting Venuses for keepers of bar rooms, who regarded art only as a means to excite the baser passions of the vulgar. And though he was by this enabled to meet the demands on his purse, the thought of degrading an art to which he had given the devotions of his life, grieved him to the heart. He therefore resolved that, as he could not make it serve the high purpose for which it was intended, he would abandon it. And when he changed his profession, he changed his name. He is now Mr. Pickle of the firm I have before mentioned. We were privately married under that name, and have since lived as humble as you see us. When we have got money enough, my husband will return to his profession. And now, sir, pray adapt yourself to our humble mode of living, and remember that our home is your home while you remain with us.'"
CHAPTER XXXIII.
WHICH RELATES HOW THE MAJOR DROPPED THE TITLE OF MAJOR, AND TOOK
THAT OF GENERAL; ALSO, HOW HE JOINED THE YOUNG AMERICAN BANKING
HOUSE OF PICKLE, PRIG, & FLUTTER.
"WHEN the lady had enlisted my sympathy by her narrative," continued the major, "which she related in a voice so sweet and melodious that I listened to her with unmixed pleasure, the door bell rang, and Mr. Pickle, a man of straight person and medium height, entered. His hair was black, and curled down his neck, which was symmetrical. And, too, his face was singularly expressive, and his features prominent. In a word, his appearance was prepossessing. And in addition to dressing in the fashion of the day, he wore many jewels. His bearing also was graceful; and on entering the room, he addressed the lady with much courtesy, and called her Maria. She in turn introduced him to me as her husband. And I must say he seemed not a little surprised and confused at hearing my name, and inquired a second time, if I was the Major Roger Potter, of whom so much had been said in the newspapers? And when I satisfied him on that point, he became so truly delighted that he immediately engaged me in conversation concerning the state of the nation, about which he was well read, and indeed knew so much, that I at once took him for a politician. But he assured me he was not; and to farther satisfy me, he commenced a description of the banking and other operations the Young American Banking House of Pickle, Prig, & Flutter were engaged in. They had an office near Wall Street, furnished with the finest desks, carved in black walnut, and Brussels carpets, and stationery of a quality sufficient to carry on an endless amount of diplomacy. They had books showing their correspondence with various prominent bankers in Europe-such as George Peabody, the Rothschilds, Overand, Gurney, & Co., of London; and Monroe & Co., of Paris. They had cards printed showing the most respectable references; they had correspondents in all important towns over the Union, and towns they had none in were not worthy of so distinguished a consideration. They had gold mines in Peru and Mexico and California; silver mines in Chili, and iron mines in Patagonia and Nova Scotia. As to copper mines, they owned them here and there all the way from Lake Superior to Cuba and Valparaiso. Indeed, they owned and were agents for such an innumerable quantity of outlying property, that a country gentleman, as I was, might have imagined them in possession of at least one half of South America, and that the only one worth having. In addition to this, they condescended at times to discount notes, especially when it was a sure thing, and five per cent. a month was a matter of no consequence with the holder. They drew bills, too, and sold exchange on every city in Europe; and would have drawn on Canton, had they been honored with a demand. In fine, there was not a city from Constantinople to Oregon, in which they had not a balance, and were prepared to draw upon. And I verily believe that, had it been necessary, they would have had a Bedouin Arab for agent in Egypt. The house now stood much in need of a little ready cash to steady it on one side, and a prominent name (if coupled with a military title, so much the better) to prop up its dignity on the other. Indeed, I discovered from what Pickle said that the dignity of the house had already begun to tottle a little, and needed a steadying name and a steadying balance.
"When we had taken supper together, he renewed the conversation, which finally resulted in his saying that a person so popular as myself was just such a one as they wanted for partner in their house. Inquiring what I thought of the matter, he said he would propose it to the firm, and to-morrow make me a proposal. He also suggested, that if I would drop the Major, and assume the title of General-a thing done every day by the greatest of politicians-the effect would be equal to a large amount of capital. Generals stood well in Wall Street; generals were excellent men (when endorsed by bishops) to send abroad to effect loans; generals were capital fellows to get well out of a financial collapse; in fact, generals were just the men to get through any sort of difficulty. Society bowed to a general; the people were charmed by a general; a general was every thing to a Young American Banking House like that of Pickle, Prig, & Flutter. No matter how visionary your scheme, you had only to tie a general to it, and success was certain. If you could buy up a newspaper or two, so much the better, for then the general would appear as editor, and be prepared, as was the custom of the day, to praise every scheme they were engaged in. I thought the offer very kind of Mr. Pickle, since my affairs were in a financial collapse; and on the following day met his partners, at their banking house, which was an exceedingly stylish affair. The result was, I became a partner in the concern-a silent partner, with the name and title of General Roger Sherman Potter, Prig holding it good policy to retain the Sherman, that being a name of great weight in the banking world.