Like a good husband and a true hero, he visited his wife Polly, comforted her with a purse of gold and various other things, and gave her such a wonderful account of his successes as to make her doubt her senses. He also congratulated her that she was now the wife of a foreign minister, which would afford her the means of sending their son to the academy and their daughters to boarding school, where they would learn to play the piano, and be as fine as any of your ladies. But the good woman was affected to tears when he told her of the great distance between Barnstable and Kalorama, and only consented to his departure for that distant dominion out of respect to what every good woman ought to sacrifice for the benefit of her country. While, however, the thinking people of Barnstable were at a loss to know by what means he had got such an office, and were inclined to set it down for a joke of some waggish fellows in Washington, who were intent on testing the quality of the government for giving offices to fools, little Barnstable turned out in full force, and without the slightest respect for the great change in his fortunes, persisted in offering him a full measure of that species of ovation it was wont to pay him in times gone by.
Nearly two months had now passed; and although the newspapers frequently foretold the exact day the general would sail for the scene of his labors, nothing was heard of his secretary. It ought to be mentioned here that he occupied his time in frequent interviews with Glanmoregain, who had designs on Kalorama very different from those entertained by the government. For while the latter had furnished instructions to the general, strictly enjoining him to cultivate a good understanding with this savage king, and to impress upon his mind the advantages of peace, avoiding carefully all disputes arising between rival chiefs, the former commended a course diametrically opposite. Having riches enough at his command to overthrow a dozen such kingdoms as Kalorama, and which he promised to deal out without stint in the employment of such vagabonds as are more fond of fighting than saying their prayers, he instructed the general to first find out how many cunning priests and lawyers were in the country; what love they bore one another; whether they were renegades or natives; what influence they had over the king; and how best they could be set by the ears. And when this knowledge was thoroughly acquired, to hasten the formation of rival factions, being careful to throw the hot iron in wherever there was a chance, pleading at the same time for peace and harmony. Then if he could only get the priests at "cat-tails" with the court, which was easy enough, why, the prospect would be prodigious. Every thing must be taken in time and season; and if the lawyers were renegades, and he could get them at splits with both, he could then get some ambitious leader (one with more self-love than patriotism) just to tip him the wink, and invite him to become the champion of the strongest faction; he could then, being careful to let the cause of humanity and the spread of civil liberty be his watchword, go out with his sword sharpened, and after cutting down the existing powers, snatch up the diadem and place it upon his own head. Glanmoregain explained his various plans with such minuteness that they all became cloud and mist in the general's mind; indeed, he began to debate within himself as to the means by which he could serve two masters whose interests seemed to run in directly opposite channels. Minister Potter had, however, a ready facility for everything, and although something of a simpleton, pledged himself to carry out Glanmoregain's instructions with as many protestations of good faith as he had offered the government in proof of his sincerity. "Upon my military reputation, sir," said he, as Glanmoregain delivered to him a packet containing his instructions, "it will not take me long to get things as you want them. Say only that you want a dozen more such kingdoms, and I warrant to have them in your pocket in less time than it would take you to walk up Wall Street. But pray, sir, as to these vagabonds you speak of, take care that they be not men who have no fear of the devil and want all to be generals."
And when the merchant and his general had got all these little government matters so nicely compounded that they began to feel whole kingdoms between their fingers, the former took his departure and left the latter to himself. There were now only three days remaining before the general's departure; and as the government had vessels enough fouling their copper in our harbors, it was ordered that one be detached to convey the general to his place of destination. While then he was sitting puzzling his brain how to get a secretary who could manage the newspapers and attend to the duties of his office, and was ready to believe that Mr. Tickler had been foully murdered, that gentleman made his appearance, and gave so strange an excuse for his absence that I must beg the reader to turn to the next chapter, where he will find it faithfully recorded.
CHAPTER XLV.
OF THE MEETING BETWEEN THE GENERAL AND HIS SECRETARY, WHO RELATES AN AFFAIR OF GALLANTRY THAT HAD WELL-NIGH COST HIM HIS LIFE; ALSO, OF THE DEPARTURE FOR KALORAMA.
"TICKLER! my faithful secretary, the friend and companion of my future fortunes!" exclaimed the general, embracing the trembling Tickler as he entered the room somewhat timidly. And after shaking him warmly by the hand he ordered two punches, over which he promised to give him an account of the anxiety he had suffered at his absence, and which might have proved a serious affair to the nation.
"By my honor, general," replied Tickler, fingering his beard, and looking somewhat confused, "your kindness is as unexpected as I know it is sincere. And if you say the punches, it is as you say. It is to ask your forgiveness I came, and here you offer me proofs that I have not even incurred your displeasure."
"Mercy and courtesy, friend Tickler, belong to our profession," interrupted the general, elongating his body, placing his thumbs in the arm-holes of his waistcoat, and striding twice or thrice across the room. "I feared you were dead, friend Tickler. And it might look suspicious," he resumed. "But you are alive, and I am glad enough of it." The punches now smoked upon the table; and as the general drew up his chair beside the secretary, that functionary began to relate the cause of his absence. "I got safe into Baltimore, you see, and having no more fears of the finger-taps of sheriffs, was quietly wending my way for the Gilmore House, and had reached a fine old mansion that stood a little from the street, when my attention was attracted by a voice singing so sweetly that I became like one transfixed, for the strains seemed melting my very heart. And you know, general, that it's no hard matter to melt the heart of an Irish gentleman. The voice sounded like one I had heard before, and I paused, and listened, and wondered whose it could be, and suddenly it ceased. I turned to gaze in the direction from whence the music came, and there saw, through an open window, a girl of such exquisite beauty that I felt like getting upon my knees and worshipping her as the idol of love. During the pause she sat at a piano motioning her fan, and with so much grace and delicacy that even a Castilian could not have excelled it. Her complexion was like alabaster, her features of Grecian cast, and as regular as if they had been chiseled. And these charms were made more bewitching by the luxuriant tresses of black hair that hung carelessly down upon her broad, white shoulders. The thought that I had seen her before almost crazed me. Then suddenly her delicate fingers tripped over the keys of the piano, and she struck up a song, the words of which I have not now at my tongue's end, but which I remember said a deal about hope, anguish, and hearts that were true. Something also was said about the cold marble, and withered hopes. I may say, sir, that it bore a strong resemblance to songs I have heard sung by lovers in my own country,-"
"Pray proceed with what came of the lady," interrupted the general, impatiently.
"Why, sir, she sang this song so sweetly that the very air seemed filled with melody, and I fancied myself either in Limerick or Paradise. After gazing in admiration of her for several minutes, she turned her eyes toward me; and as she did so, 'Heavens!' says I, 'there's Linda Mortimor!' And if you would know who this Linda Mortimor is, listen and I will tell you. Her father was a merchant of New York, of princely fortune and good ancestry. And this fortune, together with his pride, he was resolved never to let get beyond the narrow limits of a circle of distant but equally fortunate relatives. But Linda, who was just budding into her seventeenth summer, let her affections fall upon an opera singer, a tenor of the name of Leon Benoni, who had some fame in his profession, and was likewise a man of good morals, which is rare with such gentlemen. I had known Leon for many years, and between us there existed a strong friendship. And as he returned Linda's affections with a love so impassioned that he swore death only could separate them, I promised to render him such service as he might need in an emergency. The possession of a girl so pure, so tender in years, and yet so beautiful, was a prize Leon would have braved death to gain."