For seven days they journeyed in this pleasant manner, resting to take refreshments three times a day, pitching their tents at night beneath palm trees, or in mango groves, interspersing mass and prayers with various amusements for the diversion of the general and the priest, who was a good lover of jokes, and indeed had no very high opinion of those of his order who go about with doleful countenances. And when they were halted, the general got of the priest much concerning the differences existing between his order and the renegades, between whom a deadly fued existed, both struggling for an ascendancy in the government. Tickler also found excellent companions in the renegades, with whom he discussed matters of ancestry and books, of which both professed to know much, though truely they were ignorant men, and as great knaves as ever left their own country to pester the authorities of another. They were also curious to learn of Tickler what had brought his master to Kalorama; but on that score he was as ignorant as themselves, though of his master's influence at home he assured them no man had more. He also gave them a wonderful account of his many achievements in war.
Thus they journeyed, the simple-minded inhabitants of each village through which they passed welcoming them with salutations of joy, paying great reverence to the priest and his ass, and regaling them with fruits and such other refreshments as their humble plantations afforded.
Starting early on the morning of the eighth day, they had proceeded some four miles up a gradually inclining slope, when the City of Nezub appeared in sight, on the brow of a hill, almost buried in a grove of palms, and surrounded by picturesque scenery, over which the clear atmosphere threw a charm not easily described. Clumps of mango, palm, and olive trees gave a beautiful contrast to the softer herbage on the slopes; while the earth seemed teeming with the richest flowers, impregnating the air with their sweet odors.
When they were within a mile of the city, numerous shabby-looking dignitaries, and a great concourse of half-naked people, came out to meet them, and amidst music and rejoicing accompanied them to the city, and indeed, seemed anxious to carry the priest and his ass on their shoulders, though they were inclined to make derision of old Battle's shabby appearance. And now, when the bearers had carried the general to a little cottage, provided for him at the expense of the king, and he was safely lodged in his quarters, the good priest took leave of him with a prayer for his soul, and went to his home feeling that he had rendered all the service required of him. "Upon my soul," said the general, when the priest was gone, "but they would not make all this ceremony if they knew the drift of my mind. Take notice, Tickler, that they have here a fine country, which is so scurvily governed, that to my mind there would be no harm in taking it away from them."
"Your excellency knows best about that," replied Mr. Tickler, "but the devil take me if I want to share the hanging you might get in playing at that game. Please run your eye over the instructions, and see what they say on that head."
"I see, friend Tickler, that you are not skilled in these matters, for you cannot tell what is in the egg until you break it. And as it is customary with the best of our ministers to look over instead of into their instructions, you will not find me behind any of them, for I intend to astonish with the audacity of my undertakings. Mark that well. And if you have not courage to join me in these things, why, the quicker you get home the better, for I hold that a man of your metal is always best off where his gallantry and such other graces as heaven has blessed him with will attract most adorers."
"Faith of my mother! but your excellency talks queerly. I have not a dollar in my pocket, and you bid me get home over a road lined with robbers" interrupted Mr. Tickler. "Now that I am here, and owe a service to the country of my adoption, it shall not be said that I left your excellency, who will see my courage come out when he affords me an opportunity." They now spent three days in close consultation on the precise language necessary in addressing the king at the first audience, which he had signified his readiness, to grant on the morning of the fourth day. The general insisted that it be interpersed with so much latin as to confuse both the king and the interpreter, though both were profound scholars. "I have rare skill in mixing latin, as your excellency knows but you grind it up so in the delivery that neither the king nor the devil can understand a word of it. And as your English is good enough for the best of them, I would advise you to stick to it, since no great military man ever gained anything by dabbling in classics." This so touched the chord on which all the general's weaknesses hung that he went right into a rapsody of delight. "I begin to be of your way of thinking, friend Tickler," said he, tossing his head approvingly. "I have speeches enough in my head, and am resolved to make the first that comes to my tongues end."
And now, when the morning on which they were to have an audience with the king was come, the general arrayed himself in his best uniform, not forgetting his three cornered hat and white gloves; and mounting old Battle as Mr. Tickler mounted his mule, they proceeded to the king's palace, a rude building of palm logs, situated in a pretty square, and surrounded by shade trees and clustering vines. Here they were received with the blowing of horns and jingling of bells; which continued to keep up a deafening sound while they were being conducted into the presence of his majesty, who wore a bright red cloak, and a hat quite resembling that of a Beadle. In complexion his majesty was a shade darker than ebony, and as to figure, he was as stalwarth a sovereign, though perhaps not as clean a one, as could be found in all the kingdoms round about: in short, if his majesty was none of the cleanest, he at least wore a contented air, which is rare with kings. And as he sat on his throne of ingeniously woven palm-leaves, he seemed more intent on viewing his pipes and holding a parley with various priests than listening to the address of the famous representative. Indeed I very much doubt if a wiser king ever lived, for he evinced a happy indifference for anything but his own comfort. A fellow of ponderous belly and face, calling himself Don Perez Goneti, but whose real name was Peletiah Anseeth, a renegade, and as arrant a rascal as ever left Georgia to save his neck, now came forward, and addressing the general, informed him that he was the king's keeper, and lawgiver to the nation. This announcement surprised the general, for the man was dressed in a yellow tunic, with blue tights, and a red ruffle about his neck. In fine, it must be confessed that this Don Perez Goneti bore a much stronger resemblance to an escaped convict, or a street juggler, than to a great lawgiver. A consultation now took place between this great lawgiver and the general, as to whether the speech of the latter would be acceptable to his majesty. "For," said the lawgiver, "his majesty is no fool." "And if he takes me for one, it will not be wise of him!" replied the general. The lawgiver now presented the general, with uncommon ceremony. And although the king bowed, it was evident he regarded the plenipotentiary with inward suspicion, and would have thanked heaven to be rid of both him and his secretary. The general tugged up his breeches, and with an air of self-complacency truly admirable, spoke as follows, the lawgiver acting as interpreter. "May it please your majesty, to whose gracious consideration I commend myself, I am general Roger Sherman Potter, of whom I make no doubt your majesty has heard enough said. And this gentleman (here he turned to Mr. Tickler) is my secretary, perhaps not so well known, but, nevertheless, a man of reputation."
The king yawned and inquired of his minister what the queer looking man said.
"He says your majesty is a great potentate, which is true enough. But he requests that you acknowlege him the greatest living ambassador! Honestly, your majesty, he has great skill as a jester, which I take it is why he was sent here."