"Let him proceed, for if he be a fool, what he says touching our greatness may be turned to profit. Let him proceed, that he prove the wisdom of his government in sending him." The lawgiver now bid the general proceed.
"Here are my credentials," resumed the general, "and if your majesty will run his eye over them, he will see that the president of the United States accredits me minister extraordinary to your majesty's court. That being a proof of his good will, he hopes you will return it with similar testimony. Of the good nature of our president no man can say a word but in praise; and I can swear he entertains a high opinion of your royal person, is earnestly desirous of preserving peace between us, and resolved to respect that comity which should rule among nations so distinguished, and without which neither of us can get along, seeing that we have so many sympathies in common. As for myself, all I have to say is that your majesty will find my conduct so squared as to be acceptable in your eyes, for Heaven is with the peacemakers." Here the general paused as Don Perez Goneti proceeded to the interpretation.
"The man talks so strangely, that may the priests hang me if I know what to make of it. But this I do know: he says many things that would not be pleasing to your majesty's refined ears; such for instance, as that your majesty governs so badly, and has so little knowledge for turning the vast resources of his country to advantage, that the president of the United States seriously contemplates taking the matter in hand, for he knows it would be acceptable to the saints as well as your ill-governed people." At this, his sable majesty went right into a passion and so conducted himself, ordering the queer strangers, as he called them, taken into the plaza and hanged, without further ceremony, that General Potter and Mr. Tickler (neither of whom could understand a word he said) set him down for a madman, inquired of the lawgiver what it all meant, and began to have fears for their safety. Indeed the state of confusion that reigned in the audience chamber came well-nigh putting an end to this remarkable mission. "Pray Mr. Lawgiver, what is the matter with the king, for he acts like a man who has lost his understanding?" inquired the general.
"It is only a freak of his; and if you would have the truth of it, I can tell you, that he is berating these vagabond priests, who give him no peace of his life." Don Perez Goneti then turned to the king, and said: "If your majesty will but listen another minute, he may hear something more pleasing, for the ambassador says he has something good in store."
"Let him proceed then," replied the king, "and if he redeem himself, the hanging shall be spared." The general resumed, while Mr. Tickler trembled in his boots.
"It is come to the president's knowledge, that your majesty is in possession of several valuable Islands, which in their present condition yield no revenue. Therefore he has directed me to say that he will relieve you of them, and turn their fruits to such uses as Heaven ordained they should fulfill. And I can tell your majesty that the president has a remarkable taste for Islands, and so long as he can get them, cares not a whit for the means!"
"May it please your majesty, this great ambassador has a most fertile imagination, to which he adds a supple tongue. He says the evils of your reign are the natural results of the mischievous interference on the part of the priests; and that the President of the United States, having resolved that this state of things shall no longer exist, has instructed him to seize upon all your Islands, and turn their fruits to such uses as Heaven has ordained." This so exasperated the king, that he swore, in the language of his country, that he verily believed the persons before him vagabonds sent by the devil to disturb the peace of his country. Nor indeed were the priests backward in stirring the mischief, for they whispered among themselves that he ought to be well hanged for the slur flung at their order. "Take these men away!" exclaimed the king in the height of his passion, which he was saved from further betraying by the uplifted hand of the priests; "and tomorrow morning at parrot-wink let them be well hanged in the plaza." The king and the priests now retired in great confusion, which so astounded General Potter and his secretary that they must needs inquire what it all meant, for their difference of tongues left a gloomy void between them. And when it was explained by the lawgiver, at whose mercy they were, they looked one at the other in consternation, and were led away perplexed and full of sorrow.
CHAPTER LI.
WHICH EXPLAINS WHY DON PEREZ GONETI PRACTISED THE DECEPTION; AND OF THE WONDERFUL DISCOVERY OF A NEW MODE OF PUNISHING AMBASSADORS.
WHEN it was night, and not a beetle was heard, and the guards found great difficulty in keeping awake, Don Perez Goneti came to the house of General Potter, disguised in the robe of a priest. He found the general engaged over dispatches to his government, and letters to his wife Polly; in both of which he set forth in sad and pitiful sentences, "the dire fate" that awaited him. As for Mr. Tickler, he had not an ounce of courage left, but was nevertheless writing articles for the seven New York newspapers, of which he was correspondent. According to Tickler, as set forth in these grave articles, no greater outrage had ever been committed upon the unoffending representatives of the United States, and for which he demanded summary vengeance. "Gentlemen! said the intruder, discovering himself, "I am Don Perez Goneti, the lawgiver! Fear not, for I come to cheer you. This king, you must know, is a great knave, and so under the thumb of the priests that an honest man like myself is not safe a day in his office. Having long meditated his overthrow, I come to offer you the hand of friendship in your distress, and to say that if you will join me in carrying out my design (I have a strong party at my command), we will teach this king what it is to be a subject. By the saints, he has no good will toward your country, as you have seen."