"Well, it just goes in here and comes out there!" and his lordship smiled with the hilarity of a judge who thinks he has actually said a good thing.
"I do not doubt it, my lord. What is there to prevent it?"
[THE SOUND OF A TRUMPET]
An old inhabitant of Kilmarnock had taken more whiskey than was good for him. On his way home, feeling very tired, he lay down in the churchyard for a rest, with his head against a tombstone. He was suddenly aroused from his sleep by the blast of a trumpet. He woke in a fright, thinking the end of the world had come, but when he found himself alone, exclaimed, "Well, this is a poor show for Kilmarnock."
[GRAMMAR]
A waggish curate overheard the schoolmaster giving lessons in grammar. "You cannot place a, the singular article," said the preceptor, "before plural nouns. No one can say a pigs, a women, a----" "Nonsense," cried the curate, "the prayerbook teaches us to say a-men."
[ONE SIDE AT A TIME]
A juryman asked to be excused as he was deaf in one ear. "I don't think that matters," said the judge; "let him be sworn, we only hear one side of a case at a time."
[COMPANY]
"Bridget, I don't think it looks well for you to entertain company in the kitchen the way you do," said the young mistress.