At a church wedding all the women appear in hats or bonnets, according to the modern custom. The guests wear handsome reception dress, especially if they are going on to the house of the bride’s parents. Those who are asked only to the ceremony wear their best street costume with white gloves. Where the ceremony is performed at the house in the evening, all wear evening dress and go without hats. For a home wedding in the daytime the guests retain these, but the bride’s mother and other members of the receiving-party appear without them.
A bride may prefer to be married quietly in traveling-dress. If this is the costume in which she intends actually to travel, it should be of material and color suitable for that purpose. A pretty and becoming shade should be selected, but not an extremely delicate one. Cloth or other woolen material is suitable for the cold months, a silken or woolen stuff of light weight for summer. A pretty hat and white gloves complete the costume, or, if preferred, these may correspond in color with the dress. A bride may, if she pleases, be married in a walking-suit of a very light color, changing this for a quieter dress before she starts on the wedding journey. In spite of the wide advertisement of our friend Miss Phœbe Snow, it is not in good taste to wear white in a railway car, except in the height of summer, when wash-dresses may be considered permissible on account of the heat. A bride who wears white on her wedding journey stamps herself as provincial. A young woman who is married in traveling-dress does not have bridesmaids. If she wishes to have a friend stand up with her, the latter also should be in street dress, with hat or bonnet.
GIFTS AND HOW TO PRESENT THEM
When a young couple are about to begin life together and to establish a new home, they are confronted at once with the unpleasant question of expense. To furnish their abode, however simply, takes a considerable sum of money. Hence, somewhere in the dim past the custom of making wedding-presents arose, friends assisting the bridal pair in the creation of a home of their own. Sound political economy as well as pleasant sentiment, therefore, underlies this usage. The welfare and prosperity of the individual home promote those of the larger home—the State.
In sending gifts to a young couple it is well to bear this truth in mind, for, although perfectly self-evident, it is often forgotten. We should try to select presents that will be of use to their recipients. Their value need not be merely material; it may be spiritual or esthetic. Beautiful pictures, books of solid and lasting interest, are as important features of a dwelling as chairs and tables. Silverware is a standard gift because of its usefulness. It has now grown so much cheaper, the price being less than half what it was some years ago, that almost any one can afford to send an article made of this metal. Some brides have been fairly overloaded with silver, receiving far more than they, in their modest homes, were able to use. Hence it is well to consult a member of the bride’s family or a near friend as to what she would really like to receive.
The main outfit of silver—a tea-service, one or more dozens of the different sizes of forks, knives, and spoons—are given by the immediate families of the bride and groom, when their means permit. Near relations—aunts, uncles, and cousins—sometimes join in the gift or supplement it with other needed articles of silverware. Friends also send large or small pieces in accordance with their means and with the needs of the young couple. The fashion of using ornamental and useful appliances made of this metal for the toilette-table, the desk, etc., has been so run into the ground, cheap imitations have become so common, that some other material is now preferred—ivory or tortoise-shell, for instance.
Jewelry is so dear to the heart of woman and forms so important a feature of dress that most brides like to receive it, even though it cannot be classed as a necessary part of their outfit. While an elderly friend may send a jewel, the privilege is denied to young unmarried men, unless they are relatives. This is an old rule of Mrs. Grundy, who also forbids the bestowal of any article of clothing by young bachelor friends. Bric-à-brac has mercifully gone out of fashion. It is permissible, however, to give “objects of art” that deserve the name. Intimate friends sometimes send a dozen of sheets with embroidered initials, or a set of handsome towels. The pretty articles of decorative table linen now so much in vogue, lunch-cloths, centerpieces, and doilies, make very charming wedding-gifts. China and glassware for the table may be both pretty and useful. Relatives and old family friends may send checks, if they choose.
When an article is marked, the maiden initials of the bride are used. The old custom of marking silver with the initials of the given names of both the bride and groom, together with that of the last name so soon to belong to them both, has been revived to some extent. If the article given is one likely to be duplicated, it is better not to have it marked, because the bride may wish to exchange it. Indeed, some thoughtful persons say frankly: “If you want to change this, pray do not hesitate to do so.” While sentiment makes us desire to keep the gift chosen by a friend, it is undeniably inconvenient to possess one dozen pepper-pots and not a single salt-cellar! Owing doubtless to the “total depravity of inanimate things,” there is almost sure to be an overplus of some article and a deficit of another.
The question is sometimes asked, “When and how shall I present my gift to the bride?”
The answer to the first query is, upon receipt of the invitation to the wedding or as soon after as is convenient. It may happen that on account of absence, illness, or some other good and sufficient reason the gift is delayed. In this case one need not hesitate to send it, with a note of explanation, after the marriage has taken place. The last gift is sometimes received several months or even a year after the day of the nuptials. Manifestly, however, it is best to send promptly.