The proper dress for guests at an afternoon tea or reception is street or reception costume. The latter, according to present fashion, consists of silk, brocade, velvet, or other handsome material if the wearer is a married woman or a single one who is no longer in her first youth. It should not be very light in color nor very showy if it is to be worn in a public conveyance. The woman who appears in a very handsome toilette should take a carriage, since it is in bad taste to make oneself conspicuous in train or trolley-car. Or she may cover up her dress with a long outer garment—called “Cache-misère” by the French. A young girl eschews brocades and other rich fabrics. Her reception costume may be of woolen or silken stuff, but it should preserve the simplicity of style which is at once appropriate and becoming to young people. White gloves are demanded by the present fashion, although some ladies wear black ones, while the shortness of the skirts makes dainty footgear very desirable. It is offending against good taste as well as against common sense, however, to walk through the streets in the wintry season clad in slippers so thin and stockings so transparent that they make the beholder shiver. They look as much out-of-place as heavy furs in the heat of summer.
For teas in the country greater informality is permissible, some young and pretty women appearing in golfing or skating costume, with red sweater and cap to match. Such a dress is not to be recommended for general wear, however, few persons having the air and distinction necessary to carry it off.
The conventional costume for men at an afternoon reception is “formal afternoon dress”—i.e., black cutaway or frock-coat, black or fancy waistcoat, dark, striped trousers, patent-leather shoes, and an Ascot or four-in-hand tie. A dark-gray cutaway suit (coat, waistcoat, and trousers all being of the same material) may also be worn. It must be confessed, however, that men now appear in a diversity of costumes on these occasions. At tea-dances they dress as they find convenient.
The lady of the house wears a gown of silk, satin, velvet, or other handsome material made with a train, and either high or somewhat cut out in the neck. Bare throats are much in vogue at the present moment, but it is thought in better taste to reserve the full décolleté dress for late dinner and evening wear. Some hostesses put on gloves for a formal reception, others do not. The ladies who pour tea or assist in receiving the guests arrive early and appear in a costume similar to that of the hostess. They usually remove their hats, although the older women sometimes prefer to keep them on. A white frock of a thin, transparent material, made simply and with little trimming, is the prettiest costume for the débutante. According to the present fashion this is often cut almost as low in the neck as an evening dress. The young friends who act as her assistants wear similar gowns of some light color. If they choose silken fabrics, these should be of light weight.
On arriving, the visitor should leave her cards on the hall-table, unless the person opening the door carries a salver for them. At a large tea there is usually a dressing-room, where the guest may leave her outer wraps, with the exception of her hat. This she always retains. When she reaches the door of the drawing-room, a man-servant may ask her name for the purpose of announcing it to the hostess. At a large reception, where many people may be present whom the lady of the house knows very slightly, such a reminder is very convenient. In a small country place or suburban town, where all are acquainted, it would obviously be out of place.
If a guest hears her own name bawled out in stentorian tones, it reminds her that her first duty on entering the drawing-room is to find the hostess and shake hands with her. While the present tango craze lasts this will sometimes be difficult. With old and young spinning about the room like so many dancing dervishes, the visitor must thread her way warily between the couples, lest she be run down as by a motor-car. In order to prevent such a catastrophe, the New York hostess who is giving a tea-dance receives her guests in the tea-room; or if she does so in the drawing-room she arranges to have the end where she stands kept clear of dancers.
On the left of the hostess stands the débutante, who is presented to the women guests by her mother, the men being introduced to her. There may be assistant hostesses in the receiving-line, or they may be scattered about the rooms doing the honors of the house. The visitor would probably like to have a little chat with the lady of the house before passing on, especially if she knows few persons in the room. If she arrives at the crowded hour when a stream of people are entering, she must only delay for a moment. It is usually possible by watching one’s chance to return later when the crowd has entered the dining-room and the hostesses have a little leisure to chat with those who really wish to see them. A courteous person is careful to pay due attention to the lady of the house and to have some talk with her should opportunity offer. If the guest finds any acquaintances, she will enjoy the occasion; if she does not, she may agree with the masculine verdict that “Teas are a bore.”
It is the pleasant province of the assistant hostesses—usually young friends of the daughter of the house—to look after the welfare of the guests, especially of those who appear to be strangers. The conversation, it is true, is brief and perfunctory. It is limited usually to an invitation to go into the dining-room, the visitor mumbling an acceptance and moving in the direction indicated. To be thus made welcome, however, by a young girl of gracious manners gives a personal touch of hospitality that is very agreeable. The assistant hostesses address in this way persons whom they do not know, as well as friends and acquaintances.
Arrived at that Mecca of afternoon teas, the dining-room, one does not on a formal occasion remove one’s gloves, albeit it seems rather a foolish fashion to hold sandwiches with fingers clad in white kid. Here the young girls who assist in waiting upon the guests have the advantage, as they may remove their gloves if they please. The dining-room is the center of attraction on these occasions, not only on account of the refreshments, but because it usually seems brighter and gayer than the other apartments, unless dancing is going on elsewhere. The guests should resist the temptation to linger there, however, as the room is apt to grow hot and overcrowded. Since there is not usually room for all at the same time, evidently one should take one’s turn.
It is not necessary to stay long at an afternoon tea. During the height of the season in a large city, many of these affairs take place on the same afternoon, the guests going from one to another. It suffices to remain from a quarter to a half hour. At a small and friendly “tea” or at a house where one feels much at home, people stay longer if they are amused. One should take leave of the hostess, unless she is so surrounded with people as to make this difficult.