4 Next morning. Taffy missing. Leg of beef ditto. I go to Taffy’s residence, and find him in bed. Only available ornament in bedroom, Bones, Marrow, 1. This I hurl at his head, and make tracks.
5 Applying at Police Station for protection against Taffy’s murderous intentions, I am examined as to causes precedent. It is suggested that legs of beef are unusual joints to purchase at 1s. 8d. a week. Dislike the suggestion, and propose to walk out in dudgeon.
6 Dudgeon aforesaid discounted by slipping on banana-skin. Uncontrollable Food Controller accuses me of hoarding food. I refer him to Taffy, but he has hidden the goods in a teacup labelled “Bullo.”
7 Chorus of Welsh bards, “Alas! my poor brother.”
A
LETTER OF APPRECIATION
TO THE
AUTHOR OF THIS BOOK
Picture Palace Mansions,
Buckingham,
1st April, 00.
Gentlemen,
I am desirous of informing you that, if Sir James Brownton-Cricht, M.D., ever reported to the Lunacy Commissioners that I attempted to take my life there was not the slightest truth in the rumour, until I read your book.