The members of the second class, men and women, are charming without being dangerous. They love the society of the other sex; they have the art of pleasing and make use of it, but they play the game fairly. There is no poaching, no snares are laid for the unwary, and if harm is done it is because people have misunderstood them. The man flirts because he loves {[38]} to say pretty things to a woman. He revels in an interchange of banter and repartee which makes her eyes sparkle and his pulses beat the faster. The girl flirts out of the abundance of her joyous vitality. She suits herself to the companion of the hour. She knows nothing of the tender passion, she is not taking life quite seriously yet, but she has the delicacy to draw back when she sees danger signals in the eyes or the lingering clasp of her friend's hand. She will not make a fool of him. She is too straight for that.
Withdrawing Gracefully.
It is no easy matter to change the course of things when one has drifted into a flirtation. It behoves a girl then to choose her man carefully, and not to place herself in any false position towards him. If he is not chivalrous enough to take a delicately conveyed hint, he will only imagine that she is playing a more subtle game of coquetry, and by redoubling his attentions make himself the reverse of agreeable. No man with any regard for the most elementary rules of etiquette would either embarrass a lady by keeping up a tone that she had even indirectly discouraged, or insult her by insinuating that she had led him on.
He Changes his Mind on the Verge of a Proposal.
This is bound to be an awkward development for both parties, and it will take all a man's tact to avoid giving pain, and possibly gaining credit for having behaved badly. It is, nevertheless, the best time for a change to come. It may be that he has idealised the object of his attentions, looked at her through eyes blinded by her beauty, or dazzled by her fascination. He has not stopped to think what sort of woman she really is, what lies beneath that fair exterior. Then the word is spoken, the action witnessed, the mood revealed which makes him shrink from the thought of making her his wife.
His Way of Escape.
He will either seek safety in flight after a perfectly polite, but clearly-defined farewell; or he will gradually withdraw {[39]} from the terms of intimacy upon which he has stood. In no way must he be discourteous either to the lady or her friends.
Slow Awakening.
A man may change his mind almost imperceptibly. He will not turn against the woman, but he will realise that she can never be more to him than a friend, a genial chum. The cause of this is most likely the advent of the right woman. Force of contrast has a way of sorting people out. He will tell his friend the truth, and she will like him all the better for his confidence in her.
How She Accepts the Situation.