A brave, self-respecting woman will not like being left any more than her weaker sister, but she will take the blow standing, and be able to rejoice in the happiness of others. She will face her own sorrow alone and will utter no sound of complaint. It is an impertinence for acquaintances to condole with her. The sympathy of her loved ones will be hard enough to bear. She will be perfectly loyal to the woman her friend has chosen.
How She may give Encouragement.
There are women who leave the men very little to do in the way of courtship. Encouragement can, however, he given in a true womanly fashion. She can wear his flowers in preference to any others, and may judiciously let him see that she has kept the best in water after the dance. She will accept his escort and receive his attentions graciously, so as to show that they are valued.
Due Reserve.
She should never bestow effusive attentions on her lover, nor boast of his devotion to her. She may let him see that he stands well with her without telling him that he comes first. It is good for him to see that other men are in the running, and she must not let her feeling for him lead her into {[40]} discourtesy to any one else. She can let him do the wooing without being either haughty or capricious, for no man likes a woman who openly runs after him.
Transparent Devices.
A nice-minded girl does not always try to detach her lover from the rest of the company, though she enjoys a tête-à-tête as much as he does. She does not want to be sent with him on fictitious errands to the bottom of the garden. She leaves him to find the opportunities, and has a horror of her matchmaking relations.
How She may Ward off an Unwelcome Offer.
It is commonly agreed that a woman ought to be able to do this in the vast majority of cases. Her own intuition is seldom at fault. Even at the eleventh hour she may save the situation by a timely jest, a kindly bit of inconsequence, a sudden humorous inspiration--not at his expense, of course--and the man who is not a fool will see that it is not the psychological moment. Above all she must avoid being alone with him. Let her keep a child at her side, pay attention to the greatest bore, listen with grateful patience to the most prosy person she knows, rather than leave the ground clear for him. She should not go for moonlight strolls, nor to look for the Southern Cross on board ship, if she really wants to stave off his proposal. There is no need to be rude, and even if she has to appear unsympathetic, that is better than to humiliate him by a rejection. Some women glory over their hapless suitors as an Indian counts his scalps. This is the height of bad taste and heartlessness. We may be forgiven for hoping that they get left in the end themselves.
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