EAR. A place which hears a great many things which should never have been said.
EARTH. An orange-shaped ball hanging in space and inhabited by two classes of people, to wit: kickers and more kickers.
EDEN. The garden where Adam and Eve baked the first apple pie and pied the human race.
ECSTASY. A state in which the mind is carried away. For instance, if you are in a runaway automobile, you are in ecstasy until you hit a telegraph pole; after that you're in a hospital.
EGOTIST. A man who uses his brain for the purpose of believing that he is the greatest ever.
ELBOW. Something you give a man you don't like.
EASTER. A season of the year devoted to new bonnets, overcoatless young men and pneumonia. A tide in the affairs of women which, taken at the pocketbook, leads on to the milliners.