HARD JOB. Trying to live without working.
HARD WORK. The sugar of life, but it is surprising how many people prefer lemons.
HEALTH. The ability to eat meat for breakfast without having to rush to the drugstore.
HEAT. A scheme invented by Nature for the purpose of sending human beings to the seashore, the mountains and the hospital. It is from the Latin words "Gee Whizzibus Aintit Fierceibus?"—which means much or little, according to the size of the hotel you stop at.
HERO. A person whom we all delight to honor because the facts in the case prevent us from throwing the hammer at him. A man who goes into history and cannot get out again.
HIGHBALL. A drink in the hand which is worth two headache powders in the drugstore.
HOG. A man who thinks everybody should move over and give him the end seat.
HONESTY. The best policy after they catch you trying the others. The excuse that a politician always has up his sleeve.
HOPE. A firm belief in to-morrow with the ability to take gracefully a transfer to the day after to-morrow.