Another time going to visit the Spanish Embassador, and forgetting himself to be a Cardinal, and not a Capucine, he ask’d on a sudden, Of what Covent is your Reverend Fathership a Son?
The Embassador, perceiving the simplicity of the Person, answer’d him laughing, Father, I am no Son of a Covent; but indeed I send Sons to the Covent, of whom perhaps your Fathership is one. The Cardinal finding his error, thought to mend it by replying to the Embassador, Your Excellence may please to excuse me; for the remembrance of the Capucines is so fresh my mind, that I take all for Capucines that speak with me: The Embassadour laught; and rising up, said, ’Tis well, my Lord, I will be gone then, that I may not be accounted a Capucine by your Eminence.
Moreover, whilst Ministers of Princes talk’d with him of matters of State, the answers he return’d were about watering of Gardens, sweeping of hutches, ordering of Vestries, rising in the morning, entring into the Choire, begging Alms, and so of all such other things, wherein he was a Master. Nor did he make any difference of persons in his Conferences, but us’d the same Style to every body, Your Fathership will pardon me. And in his Complements with Embassadours Royal, he would often say, I shall accompany you to the door of the Cloister.
I might relate a thousand such stories, but I will not lengthen the work more than I ought; although there is scarce any Nephew of Popes whose mean and carriage, after their sudden advancement to the degree of Princes, affords me not matter for a long discourse.
’Tis enough that publick Ministers cannot forbear laughter and scorn in their negotiating with them which serve to inform them of their infirmities. Whence the Embassadour Justiniani, being ask’d one day, whether he was goeing to negotiate with Astalli? Answer’d, Not to negotiate with him, but to instruct him. And indeed, such instruction is extreme necessary to the best of them.
But that which displeases them most, is, that after much pains taken to instruct them, they must lose the fruits thereof, and begin all the same course over again with their Successors.
The last difficulty in managing affairs with the Nephews, ariseth from their incomparable Avarice, which is so predominant in them, that they appear meer insensible Statues in every thing else, but in studying the means how to make themselves great.
Boniface the ninth was the most dextrous, subtle, and ingenious Pope for accumulating wealth, that ever sate in the Vatican; whence he was wont to say, That he had rather have a little Fish in hand, than a great Dolphin in the main Sea; And at other times, That an Egg in the morning is better than a Hen at night. And accordingly, he was contented to lose the interest of a whole year to anticipate the payment of a day, and he alwaies made his Receivers bring him every night the money they had collected; and sometimes he would sit up till midnight expecting them, in regard he could not sleep otherwise through fear of being undone.
This exorbitant Covetousness wholly withdrew his mind from the care of the Papacy, both in Civil and Ecclesiastical matters; Embassadours could not please him better, than to discourse to him of the means to get money; and when they mentioned other matters pertaining to the publick good, they receiv’d no answer sutable to the question; because his thoughts were not imploy’d about what the Embassadours spoke, but about what the Receivers of Gabels and Taxes had said to him; with whom he entertain’d long conferences, little caring to give audience to Embassadours.
Clement the seventh, who never shew’d himself so extraordinarily covetous, though covetous too, had his mind distracted in the like manner, from what was at any time spoken to him, if it were not about money: Whence being one day requested by the Imperial Embassadour to joyn with the Emperour, and other Princes, in a League against the Turk; the Embassadour perceiving that the Pope gave him no answer, said, Your Holiness saies nothing to my Proposal; Whereunto the Pope return’d, No, for you counsel us to spend money, and we are thinking on the means to get it.