| IT'S a funny thing about being in love, that
the minute a man begins to get serious he
begins to get foolish.
A HUSBAND always expects his wife to
look up to him, even if she has to get
down on her knees to do it.
COURTING is like cooking; you've got to
be born with the knack; brains don't take
the prizes and theory doesn't count.
THE greatest proof that marriage is not a
failure is that widows and widowers are always
anxious to try it again.
THE only way to be happy with a husband
is to believe everything he tells you—even
when you know it isn't so.
IN love, a man's interest in the game is always
deeper than his interest in the girl.
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| A MAN may like a girl ever so much until he
finds out she likes him ever so much;
then like cures like. See "Simple Homœopathy."
PROPOSING is like making welsh-rarebit;
there isn't any reliable recipe for it and
you can only tell whether or not you have
done properly by the way it turns out.
AFTER a man has seen you cry two or
three times it ceases to move him—except
to move him out of the house.
THE color of a friend's finger nails or his
socks has very much more weight with a
snob than the color of his soul or his reputation.
IF a man would stick to his wife as he sticks
to his seat in a street car, there wouldn't
be much need for an alimony bureau.
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| AN old bachelor's looks may be well preserved,
but his heart is always embalmed.
IT takes an awfully big man to own up to his
wife that he was a little at fault in a quarrel.
WHEN a man gets a wife who makes him
happy, he lays it to his perspicacity;
when he doesn't, he lays it on fate.
LIFE is a game in four rubbers: hearts are
trumps when a man is very young; clubs
are trumps after he marries; diamonds are
trumps as he waxes rich and gouty; and
lastly—spades.
TO flirt inartistically is like stepping on a
woman's toes when you are waltzing with
her; it gives her real pain.
A MAN seldom marries when he loses his
heart; he waits until he loses his head.
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A MAN is like a cat; chase him and he'll run; sit still and ignore him and he'll come purring at your feet. WHAT a girl, who would be really popular, should do, is to wave a red danger flag at a man and then start to run in the opposite direction. THERE are some men who regard their wives' accomplishments with the same patronizing complacency that they feel toward the tricks of the educated monkey at the circus. DON'T always imagine that the man and woman who walk side by side without speaking to each other are angry; they may be only married. MASCULINITY covereth a multitude of sins. |
THE man who whips his small son for lying to shield a girl, has a mental vision as narrow as a Rocky Mountain path and side walls of dogmatism as high as the Colorado Cañon. SATAN and Cupid are chums, who go about together looking for people who have nothing to do. MANY a woman has divorced her husband for "desertion" who cheerfully helped pack his trunk and pay for his railway ticket when he left her. A MAN'S conscience is made of India rubber—warranted to stretch as long as the fun lasts. SOME men think that by putting on a silk hat and a white Ascot tie they are disguised as gentlemen. |